He's getting good ...

This morning, I was woken up my the roommate's dog. NOT HAPPY. He is sooooo effing lazy when it comes to taking care of his dog it's incredible. She was crying for a half hour, WAILING, to be let out of her crate to go outside. After the first five minutes, I was about to get up and take her out myself, when I heard my roommate open his bedroom door, so I assumed he was going to. WRONG. I heard him moving about the house for another 20 or so minutes, even feeding the fish before taking his dog outside. How freaking inconsiderate. HELLO, you do not live alone, and the pregnant girl doesn't sleep well at night!!!!! WTF. Ok, glad I got that off my chest.

So anyway, after laying awake for another half hour, trying to make myself fall back to sleep, I gave up and went out to the living room. The roommate had left for work (the one day of the week he isnt working from home,) and his dog was whimpering in her crate again. I let her out and played with her for a little bit, then took her for a walk around our neighborhood before putting her back in her crate so I could try to sleep on the couch. I drifted off for a little bit, then woke up to J coming back into the house. I lifted my head and looked at him, and he told me he was going to the hardware store in a few minutes. I asked why, and he told me he was going to buy some materials to make a loopy johnny. I decided to go with him.

He found an random handle that something had been broken off of. It had a screw in the top, and he decided it was perfect. Since it was broken, we didn't have to even pay for it. Then we went to Lowe's, and he bought some 1/4" vinyl tubing. The whole time we walked around the store he sang a jingle he made up about spanking my bum. Greeeeeaaaat. He was a little too excited about this, if you ask me. Anyway, we got home and he made the darn thing in like 15 minutes! Geesh. I was in the middle of eating lunch when he finished and he came into the living room and made me lie on the couch so he could give me a few practice swats. OUCH! He decided he wanted to modify it, and left me in peace to finish my lunch. After fixing it to his liking, he sat down with me and ate, then rushed me to finish mine so he could spank me again with it. I swear, the man's losing it. He let me keep my sweatpants up, thankfully, because that thing stings like the devil! For the last few swats he wanted to "try it on the bare butt", and those were torture! And he was going light. Crap. He thought I was kidding about how much fuss I was making, so I told him to smack his hand with it, and he did, and got an evil grin and said, "Oh yeah, it's got some sting. I think I like this thing!"

Let me tell you, I'll be on my best behavior as long as this things around!!