I'm a creep, I'm a weirdoooo *humming radiohead as I type*

     I cant believe I'm actually writing this, but for some odd reason I feel the need to defend myself. I know that have written about this before, but there are apparently some new readers here who are a bit confused. 
     First of all, my Daddy is not my father. I am not sexually attracted to my father, and I absolutely do not think of him when we are having sex. Likewise, Daddy is not attracted to children, nor does he pretend I am one. That is not what Daddy/little is all about. 

     Listen, I can understand why at first, this might seem a little odd. Hell, before I realized this dynamic was exactly what I needed, I was completely turned off by the thought of a woman calling her husband/boyfriend/lover Daddy. However, even while I "knew" it wasn't for me, I understood that for some people, it fit just right. I guess maybe because I've always craved spanking and discipline, and I knew/know that it isn't exactly socially acceptable, I sympathize with all kinksters. I understand what it's like to honestly, deeply need something and not understand that need, and sometimes even wish I didn't have the need at all. I ask that you consider the same things when you read one, or maybe several of my posts, and then come to the conclusion that my relationship is creepy.     

     Daddy is my husband. He loves me more than anything else in the whole world, and would do anything to protect me. He reads me stories before we go to bed. He tells me every day that he loves me, and never leaves our home without kissing me goodbye. He washes my hair when we shower together. He takes care of me when I'm sick and makes me laugh when I'm sad. He plays with me, and when I've done something wrong, he disciplines me. He nurtures my inner child (you've got one too, dig deep!) and makes me feel safe. He colors princess pages from my coloring book with me and doesn't think it's weird that I still sleep with a stuffed animal. He is my best friend, my Dominant, my confidant, my lover. He accepts me for exactly who I am, and strives to help me be the best me that I can be. He is my anchor. 

     If you think that's creepy then you probably shouldn't be reading here.

settled.

     I'm beginning to look at ttwd as a rollercoaster. There are ups, when things are going very well, when there are spankings and lots of sex and dominance. Then there are downs, or dips, when things aren't as smooth, the spankings dwindle and things are put on the back burner. You go up and down and round and round but the important thing to remember when you're in a dip is that you'll be going back up soon! (Much easier to remember when you're actually up instead of down, but I'm getting there!) 

   

   Daddy has been sick the past month or so with a cold and was diagnosed with a sinus infection last week, so things have definitely been up and down for us a lot in the recent weeks. When he isn't feeling well, he tends to be much mellower and lets little things slide. Which of course, is totally reasonable, and a good little girl would have been on her best  behavior to make things easier for him. 

     I tried to be, I really did. Sometimes, when I don't feel his dominance, I start getting insecure and I push the boundaries, looking for that solid rock wall. When the boundaries aren't as solid as I'd hoped or expected, I start getting a little bratty attitude like 'if I could do that with no consequence, maybe I can do this!' and then I feel satisfied for a bit with what I've gotten away with. I don't feel satisfied for long, though. It becomes frustrating and nerve-wracking and I act out subconsciously to make sure that everything is still the same and he's still in charge. Silly, I know, but I don't see that when it's all happening. 

     He decided to a put a stop to that, and when I hesitated to do something he told me to do, he  threatened, "Don't make me bring you into the room."

     Which made me giggle, because I wasn't at all convinced he was going to follow through. 

     Except he did. He grabbed me by the wrist and led me to the bedroom, where he bent me over the bed and started smacking my bottom. He made me spread my legs and he smacked my most sensitive area. 

     You can bet I had no doubts about whether or not he still held the position of power! Now, I wish I could tell you that I behaved myself from that point out, but there was a slight incident during my saturday spanking. 

      Daddy spanks me most saturdays, and this past saturday was no different. He had me lay on the bed and went to the implement drawer, pulled out the rubber flogger, and started to close the drawer.

      I kinda sorta rolled my eyes just a LITTLE because he's been stuck on that darn flogger and has used it for the last bajillion of my spankings. 

     He brought it whistling down on my backside, demanding to know what the eye roll was for. "What, because I'm using this again?" 

     "Well, it hurts!" I complained, wriggling around as it danced on my cheeks. 

     The blows ceased and he returned to the drawer, taking out the black strap this time. He sat beside me on the bed and strapped my backside. He did not allow me to move around too much and as soon as my free arm snaked back to protect myself, he grabbed my wrist and pinned it to the bed. 

     I was wiggling and crying out and feeling quite sorry for myself, honestly. I had forgotten how much the strap hurt! Daddy has even given me a few swats here and there with his belt, but it was nothing compared to this.

     Finally, he got up and put the strap back in the drawer and I breathed a great big sigh of relief, only to realize he was far from done. He picked up the flogger again and whipped me for a few more minutes, explaining to me how nice he was actually being by using the flogger all the time, instead of other things. He didn't stop there, though, oh no ... he picked up the small hairbrush off the dresser and started paddling me with that. 

     My hand flew back and I told him that it really hurt. I mustered my sweetest, poutiest face possible and lifted it to look at him. 

     He leaned close to me and said, "You need this. You're not done yet." He spanked me for several more minutes, stopping only after the tears were falling and my bottom was bright red and very sore. He held me and kissed me, and asked if I felt better. 

     One of my very favorite things about the DaddyDom/babygirl dynamic is the duality of sweetness/innocence and the darkness of it all. The next night, Daddy asked me to shower with him and I happily obliged. He soaped me up and washed my body before shampooing my hair for me. He pressed me against the wall and spanked my wet bottom, quickly rekindling the fiery sting from the previous evening. He got my towel for me and wrapped me in it, and when we got back to the bedroom he made rough, passionate love to me. Afterwards, he held me in his arms and cuddled me a bit before reading  me a bedtime story and kissing my nose before I fell asleep. It was so perfectly wonderful and magical and everything lovely. I think it's the amazing acts of love and tenderness like these that allow the moments of pain and loss of control to be so rewarding, pleasing, even. 

LETS. TALK. ORGASMS.

     Okay, here's the deal. Even though Daddy was/is my third sexual partner, he was the first to bring me to orgasm. I had barely any real sexual experience, being that my previous partners were all wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type things. I have since learned that I can most easily climax through clitoral stimulation, and thats where most of my orgasms come from these days, whether it be at Daddy's hand (or tongue!) or mine. I never came from penetration alone, and gspot stimulation was sort of uncomfortable. 

     Then one day, Daddy brought me into our bedroom, and made me get on my hands and knees on the bed. He spanked me until my entire bottom was red and stinging, and then he took me from behind. He pounded me hard, grasping my hips tightly for leverage. His hands were everywhere, slapping my ass, pulling my hair, tightening around my throat ... I couldn't get enough. The one thing he didn't do this time was touch my clit, and I'll be damned if I didn't come THREE FRICKING TIMES! 

     The orgasms, however, were not like the ones I was used to experiencing. My body shuddered and I felt a little bit of liquid coming out (so I'm guessing I squirted?). Normally my legs will shake some but not my entire body! 

     He didn't stop there, though, he kept going. He used me until he was satisfied and when he was finished, my ass was stinging, my scalp was tingling and my legs were burning from keeping the same position for so long. When he pulled out, I literally collapsed onto the bed, and burst into tears! 

     My body shuddered a little again and I just cried into the mattress, unable to stop the tears and not really sure where they came from! 

     Daddy rushed back over to me and scooped me up, cradling me in his arms. He comforted me until the tears subsided and I was able to regain my composure. I assured him that nothing was wrong, and explained that I wasn't upset, that I just couldn't stop myself from crying! 

     He didn't say another word about it but of course I couldn't stop thinking about it. 

     I felt like some kind of weirdo, I mean, who cries after really amazing sex?! I hopped online and began browsing my favorite sex community to see if I could find any information. Luckily, I did come across an article called Orgasms: You're Not a Freak, and it talks about how different people experience orgasms differently, and it's completely natural. It eased a lot of my worry and when I talked to Daddy, he promised me that he didn't think I was weird or anything. 

     I thought that sharing this and talking about it may help others realize that their own orgasms are normal and there's no "right" way to have an orgasm.  

     It's been about a month since this happened and I have neither squirted or cried since so I'm not sure if they were one time occurrences, or just a rarity but I'm glad I was able to experience both. Now if they happen again, I wont be caught off guard or embarrassed like I was this time! 

     

Tell me about your orgasms, ladies! Have any of you experienced a tearful orgasm? What about one that has you rolling with giggles? Let's forget being embarrassed about our bodies and how they experience pleasure and just be proud of them!

jump start

     We were in the bedroom, me on the bed, and him standing in front of our hutch. The baby was asleep, and I knew we had at least an hour to ourselves. I gave him a mischievous smile and pulled the front of my tank top down to expose my breasts to Daddy.
     A devilish grin came across his own face as he told me to stay put and made his way over to the dresser, where all of our implements live in the top drawer. He opened it and pulled out the riding crop, then gave me a few light taps to the nipple, drawing a couple squeals from me. "Alright roll over," he gestured, and I did as told. He yanked my sweatpants down and (kindly) rearranged my panties before beginning to whack me with the small strip of leather. He alternated between quick, crisp swats that showered down on top of each other and slower, more deliberate *and stingy!* ones. He made sure to pay special attention to the very lowest part of my bottom, and since he's not one to leave anyone out, included my thighs. Hmph. Next thing I know, I hear that dang drawer opening again and when I look up, he's holding the black strap.
     I haven't been strapped in some time, and gosh did I forget how much it hurts!!
     He laid that leather down like nobodys business and it was all I could do to maintain my position.
     I squeezed Oakley so tight I thought his stuffing might come flying out. After a particularly ouchy thigh stroke, I put my hand back to cover my bottom.
     Daddy leaned down close to my face, as he brushed my hand away from my butt. He smoothed my hair back and kissed my temple. "It's okay, baby." he whispered, running his hands gently over my burning backside. He patted my head for another moment, speaking to me softly, before picking up the strap again. He gave me a few more strokes for good measure and switched back to the crop. Another flurry of crisp swats land one after the other on my bottom, but this time it didn't feel so bad. In fact, it felt pretty damn good.
     The feeling of pleasure was growing and my hips started to move by themselves, pushing my bottom up higher, presenting Daddy with a more clear target. I could feel myself beginning to float, aware of the swats raining down on my already hot bum, but not feeling any of the bite.
     Next Daddy took out the five fingered tawse, and the pleasure ebbed and the sting returned. He covered my whole bottom, and started back in on the tops of my legs.
     I tried my hardest to stay in place, but it was so hard! I'd have to say thats my biggest struggle, keeping still when I'm getting whooped! This time, though, when my legs came up and my ankles crossed protectively above my bottom, he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back.
     He lowered himself beside my ear and said, "Put your legs down." I did. For good measure, I arched my back a little more and pushed my bottom out, hoping to erase the defiance I'd implied by blocking myself-again. "Good girl," he purred softly. His hands roamed over my swollen nether regions, squeezing every now and then, seeming to relish in my moans and groans. "You're going to feel this when you sit down later," he told me menacingly, beginning to strap me again with the tawse. He left no territory untouched.
     I kept my eyes squeezed shut, face pressed into Oakley until I heard him opening the drawer again and I looked up, panicked he might bring something else out.
     But he didn't. He tucked the straps and crop away, and laid beside me on the bed. He rubbed my bottom for me, commenting on how red it was. "You know what a red butts good for," he joked.
     I giggled, glancing up at him in time to catch a kiss.
     "Get your clothes off," he ordered, getting up and beginning to shed his own.
     Some orders aren't easy to follow, folks. This was not one of them. I jumped up and stripped, standing before him, already breathing hard from the spanking I'd just taken.
     His big, calloused hands roamed my body, squeezing, pinching, caressing. He grabbed me by the shoulders and propelled me to the end of the bed, bending me over. He took me slow and sensuous, first, savoring each sensation. Just the feeling of our skin against each others was driving me wild. Then his intensity picked up, as he drove into me harder, faster, with more urgency. His hands were around my throat, tangled in my hair, slapping my sore ass. It was complete bliss. I'd be willing to bet it was just as good for him, and when he was near his climax he pulled out, marking me with his desire.
     We showered together afterward and were both amazed to see how red my bottom still was, after nearly an hour later. I don't know about any of you, but I cant think of a better way to jump start your week after a long weekend!

#kinkygirlproblems

     The other day, my friend Riley from Vanilla Extract were talking about a ttwd situation and she texted me #thisiswhathappenstopplwhoareboredatwork. It occurred to me that this situation definitely doesn't happen to just anyone bored at work, so I responded with, #thisiswhathappenstokinkypeoplewhoareboredatwork. This led to us coming up with a bunch more of these silly little hashtag phrases. Riley posted the original list (with some input from Cael) the other day over at her blog. Here's a recap, if you didn't catch it over there:

• when you wake up in the AM and wish you had bruises #kinkypeopleproblems
• when you cant pass the cooking aisle without checking out the wooden spoons and spatulas #kinkypeopleproblems
• when he asks you if it hurts and if you want him to stop and your answer is yes it does and no please dont stop #kinkygirlprobs
• when you get spanked for being a good girl #kinkygirlprobs
• when your family talks about how "pornographic" and "dark" 50 shades is and you try not to giggle #kinkygirlprobs
• when your girl insists on 50 shades of grey but you know that would be like giving Jagger guitar lessons #kinkypeopleproblems
• when you get turned on during any tv scene of a girl being tied up #kinkygirlprobs
• when you have to worry about getting smacked in public #ttwdproblems
• running out of baby lotion #spankedgirlproblems
• wearing a bathing suit #spankogirlproblems
• when the chairs at restaurants dont include pillows #spankogirlproblems
• when there are no free corners in the room #caelproblems
• when your teddy bear didn't get in trouble but you did #rileyproblems 

     She asked for reader input, and here are the ideas everyone else came up with!

• when the wind blows your skirt up and you aren't wearing panties #subproblems
• when your son walks in while you are kneeling in front of your husband #thishappenedtome
• when people ask how your vacation went and you cant tell them the real story #spankedoutsideforthefirsttime
• your kid asks "what were you guys clapping about upstairs?" #kinkypeopleproblems
• your friends comment that the two of you still act like a couple of teenagers and/or tell you to get a room #kinkypeopleproblems
• in a dressing room with a friend wearing thong panties and the friend asks, "how come your butt is so red?" #spankedgirlproblems
• when your hand starts to hurt, but all you can hear is "please dont stop Daddy!" #caelproblems
• when you think your boyfriend claims you have no paddling (and you get annoyed because you DO!), when really he said, padding. #spankogirlproblems
• when she complains about how much your paddlings hurt, then whines when she hasn't gotten one in a while #caelproblems
• when your friends ask if thats a dog collar, and all you can say is "Noooooo..." #slavegirlproblems

So, thats what we've got so far! If anybody has any more ideas, please share!! We'll be making separate pages eventually for the entire list so people can refer back to them for a smile or laugh :)

A Cleanse

     I've been dealing with some family stuff, and it has added a lot of stress and worry to my life. It's brought back a lot of memories and feelings I tried to bury a number of years ago. Anyway, it's been weighing on my mind lately and Daddy noticed that I wasn't my normal self. 
     He'd asked me Friday if I was okay, or wanted to talk about something. 
     I didn't want to talk any more about it. We'd talked about it enough and there was nothing left to say. 
     He asked, "Is it something a good spanking would help?" when I shrugged, he added, "It doesn't hurt to try..."
     We were both tired but before we went to sleep he gave me a little bed time spanking. It was very sweet and helped me get to sleep more easily. 
     
     This morning, when our son went down for his nap, Daddy led me by the arm into our bedroom. He informed me he was going to give me a warm up and then we were going to take a quick break. He allowed me to hold Oakley (my bear) during the warm up, which was delivered with the rubber flogger from EdenFantasys. When he felt I was warmed up enough, he had me stand up, and removed the rest of my clothes. Once totally naked, he put my collar on, followed by the blindfold, then wrist and ankle cuffs. He put the hipster on the bed and attached my ankle cuffs to it by the tethers, pulling them tight so my ankles were above my knees. My wrists were cuffed together in front of me. 
     He began whipping me again with the rubber flogger, but soon switched to the loopy johnny. Even light strokes sting like a bastard with this homemade implement, so while he started out "gently" (his word, NOT mine!), it still hurt a lot. 
     I tried to stay as still as possible and take my spanking like a good girl, but it was hard to keep completely motionless. 
     He ramped up the intensity of the strokes a little bit, and it didn't take much more before I was sobbing into the furniture I was positioned on. He switched to something that felt flat, wooden, and stingy. He struck me with it again and again, first all over, and then he began to focus on my sit spot with it. 
     I cried out and squirmed, and he told me if I could guess what it was he would stop hitting me with it. My first guess was the paint stick. Incorrect.
     The swats kept on coming, and I didn't say a word. It wasn't that I couldn't think of anything else, I already had another guess in my head...and it wasn't that I didn't want him to stop, because it hurt, and I did want him to at least stop for a moment. But I became lost in the sensation, and it took me a minute to shake out of that haze and guess again. 
     "The duct taped paddle?" 
     Incorrect.
     "THE SPOOON," I was becoming desperate. How could I not guess?!
     He stopped, and leaned down beside me, close enough for me to feel his breath in my hair. "Good job baby, it was the spoon." I could feel him reaching over me, and then his mouth was beside my ear again. "I'm going to be gentle with you, now." he whispered. He used the strap next, measured strokes just hard enough to keep my bottom warm. 
     It was so lovely.   
     He spanked for another five minutes or so, using different implements to color my backside. When he'd finished, he moved away from me, and I heard something drop to the floor. Then I heard his belt jingle and my heart jumped, calming again when I heard his pants (and belt) hit the floor only seconds later. The next thing I knew, he was pressing into me. While he thrust, he reached forward and released my ankles from the tethers, giving me a little more freedom of motion. He took me hard. 
     I was lost in a world of sensation. Being blindfolded takes me to a whole new level, and this time was no exception. 
     Suddenly, Daddy pulled out. "Stay right there," he ordered, and he was gone. To where, I wasn't sure. Just as quickly as he'd gone, he was back again, and pressing a heavily lubed plug into my ass. 
     I groaned as my body accepted the plug, and no sooner than it had sunk fully into me did Daddy plunge back in as well. I squealed at being so deliciously full, and Daddy grabbed a handful of my hair, flattening himself against my back as he pumped into me. He grunted his approval, telling me how good I felt. 
     A few minutes later, he pulled out again, commanding I stay in place. This time I didn't have to wait for long to figure out what he was up to. He'd grabbed my ribbed silicone dildo and shoved it in me. He fucked me with it, holding the plug in place with his other hand. He used a twisting motion as he thrusted the dildo inside me. 
     I'm still pretty new to the whole DP (double penetration) thing so this was very very intense for me, coupled with the motion he was using and being blindfolded and all. I was a shaky, quivery mess, and before long I couldn't control myself. I was coming, and begging him to stop fucking me with the dildo. The sensation was indescribable. 
     He started fucking me again, this time moving the plug in and out at the same time. 
     I had tears streaming down my face, not from pain or anything like that, it was just so unbelievably intense. 
     When he came, the sound and feeling of it sent my body into another wave of convulsions. 

     Afterwards, we showered together and talked about how lovely/intense it all was. He told me that when he started using the dildo, my entire body was covered in goosebumps and he found that to be adorable. *blushes* 
     I feel so much better now, lighter, almost. My problems have not been solved by being spanked and used, but it's reassuring to know that I have a safe place to unload some of the emotional burden I've been carrying. This was exactly the cleanse I've been needing, and I'm ready to tackle this week with a new perspective! 

Better To Do As You're Told!

     Daddy and I were wrestling and playing together on the bed. I was wearing a tank top without   a bra and thanks to our bouncing around, one of my breasts had nearly fallen out of my shirt. Daddy shot me a look, an eyebrow raised, and said, "Show them to me."
     I immediately felt shy and giggled, shaking my head. 
     He repeated himself. 
     I should have known better than to tell him no, but I wasn't thinking. I was feeling playful and giddy and I did it. I told him no. 
     He grabbed me, pulling me up against his body, pinning me there with his arm. He pulled my shirt up, revealing my breasts to him. He laid me down on my back and grabbed my right breast with one hand, dealing me several sharp blows to my nipple in a row with the other. 
     I writhed in pain, and he held me tighter, slapping my other breast. I whimpered, and he lowered his mouth to my ear.
     "It would have been much easier if you'd just shown them to me when I asked, wouldn't it have been?"
     "Yes, Daddy! I'm sorry," 
     He didn't offer a response. Instead he continued slapping my breasts.
     By now they were very sore and each slap felt like it hurt worse than the last. I cried out and he told me again, I should have listened to him when he'd asked. That I am not to tell him no when he requests to see my body. 
     "Ten more on each," he told me, pinching my tender nipples, before grabbing hold of my left breast and landing ten calculated, stinging slaps. He grabbed my right breast next and dealt me another ten blows.
     My eyes were watery when he'd finished. 
     He looked me in the eye and asked, "Wouldn't have been better to do as you're told?" 
     I nodded. "Yes, Daddy. I'm sorry I didn't listen, I am!" 
     "It's not going to happen again, right?" 
     "Right!" I agreed. 
     His hand slipped between my legs, rubbing my clit as he spoke gruff words into my ear. "Yeah? You're gonna be Daddy's good girl now?" 
     "Ohhhhh yes Daddyy," I moaned my affirmation, and we moved on to more pleasant activities. 
    
     Fast forward a few days to this morning. Daddy asked me to light a candle in the kitchen and I didn't feel like doing it. I was playing on my phone and felt like I shouldn't have to go light the candle, and I told Daddy I didn't want to. 
     He started counting.
     Ladies, let me tell you .. when your man starts to count, it's serious business. I didn't believe it, not until he got to ten.
     He got up without a word and went to the drawer, pulling it open and rummaging through. As soon as I saw the handle of the loopy in his and I flipped from my belly onto my back and pulled the blanket over me. He came around the bed to where I was and stared at me. "Roll over."
     My bottom lip flopped over and I gave him my best puppy dog eyes. 
     "Roll over." he ordered again, and it was very clear I had no wiggle room here.
     I flipped over and and buried my face in my pillow, whimpering when I felt him yank my dress up over my bottom. 
     He whipped me without a word, holding me in place and setting my backside on fire. He only gave me 10 on each, but they were hard and I was feeling quite contrite by the time he'd finished. He put it back in the drawer and said, "That's for not listening to me, and thinking my counting was a joke. Go light the candle."
     I got up and lit the candle. I think I'll be following directions from now on!
  

Vacation Fun

    
     Little man hasn't been sleeping well on our vacation. He has also started throwing tantrums this week. Full on, throwing himself down, tossing his head around, screaming his face off, tantrums.
     To be honest, it's wearing on me. Being on vacation is so much more work with a young child, without the tantrums and 4 am wake up calls.
     Don't get me wrong, I'm having a good time, and for the most part, so is the little guy. This morning, however, I was feeling super overwhelmed. I sat down on the bed while Daddy got dressed, and I pulled my teddy bear to me, holding him tightly to my chest.
     "Are you gonna take a nap, sweetie?"
     I shrugged. "I dunno."
     "You should." he leaned down, his large frame bent over my body. His lips brushed mine, then pressed against my neck, and that spot on my collarbone that gives me goosebumps and makes me giggle. His hand slipped up my shirt, agile fingers quickly finding the stiff nubs and giving them a pinch.
     My breath caught in my throat, paused by both the pain in my nipples and the dampness between my legs.
     The house we rented for the week happens to have a clothes line outside, and a bag of clothespins by the front door. There were a few in our bedroom (who knows how they got there :p) and Daddy took one, closing it over my left nipple. He leaned in to kiss me again, his broad chest brushing against the clothespin, eliciting another gasp from me. He yanked down my shorts and kissed between my legs, his tongue snaking out and licking me slowly.
     I moaned, trying to be quiet so as not to let his mother hear, and lifted my hips toward him.
     He grabbed my breast hard, and rubbed my clit, leaning near to me. "I want you to make yourself come, and then take a nap." he kissed my forehead, my nose and my lips. "You should get your rest. I want you to be awake and vibrant tonight. I'm going to put you over my knee, like this (as he bends me over his lap), and then I'm going to smack your bum (he starts tapping my bottom lightly). But I'll have to use the cane (its our quietest implement). Then I'm going to bend you over and fuck you good. I want you nice and rested."
     I smiled at him embarrassedly, feeling taken care of and loved.
     He kissed me again, then started toward the door. "Make sure you text me when you come."
     "Yes Daddy," I called obediently. It didn't take long to finish the first task, and once I had, I was asleep almost immediately after I texted Daddy.

     He's the best. He always knows just what I need ;)

    I can't wait for bed time!

Breast Milk- a cure for cancer?

     You read that right. I just finished reading an article at Sex is, a sexual health awareness magazine by EdenFantasys, that suggests just that. The title of the article caught my eye immediately, for two reasons. The first thing that grabbed my attention were the words 'breast milk' as I am a mother who breast fed (and plans to bf future babies) and I'm always on the lookout for new information. Secondly, I have a strong family history of cancer, so of course I was extremely interested in what the article had to say. 

     Apparently, in April of 2010, a study was conducted in Sweden which was able to isolate a chain of proteins in breast milk now known as HAMLET ( Human Alpha-lactalbumin Made Lethal to Tumor cells) that can attack and kill over FORTY types of human cancer. 

     Since, more and more cancer patients are seeking out breast milk donors, believing that to be the key to their cure. Doctors in New Jersey have stated that it holds the potential to not only treating/curing cancer, but prevention as well. There are several milk banks across the country, and a patient can ask his/her doctor to write a prescription for breast milk if other treatments are proving ineffective.
     As the EdenFantasys author states, this leaves only one thing, getting over the "ick" factor of drinking human milk. It's no secret that many in society find drinking human milk to be disgusting or weird, and that's in relation to children over a year or two...never mind adults. Breast feeding women are bullied in public, shamed into using restrooms and other unsavory places to feed their child. While I have no problem with women breast feeding their children, not even those who continue past what society sees as acceptable. I believe that if the child and mother are both still comfortable with and it remains a positive experience for both, then that's fine. That's not the point of this post, though, so I'll get on with it. 
     Admittedly, the thought of drinking breast milk, especially another persons, makes me cringe a little. When I was breast feeding my little one, I was curious and took a mini sip from a bottle I'd pumped, and my stomach turned. Remembering this makes me wonder if I'd be one of the people lining up at a milk bank, should I ever be diagnosed with cancer. I think, if I had to, I could over come the taste. To me, the societal influence would have nothing to do with my decision. In my mind, drinking milk from humans is more natural than to drink it from a cow, reasonably, I can see that. But the "ick" factor that is linked to bodily fluids might steer others far from this option. 
     I'm curious where my friends and readers stand on this. If you (or a family member) were to be diagnosed, would you be willing to try breast milk as treatment? 

     

Check out EdenFantasys for all your sex toy needs! They 

have a wide selection of toys for females,

males, things to use together,

or alone ;)

A Troll In Our Presence

     As some of you may have noticed, there is a new blogger in town, and she ain't all that nice. The main topic of her blog is DD relationships, just like many of us. However, she's not in a DD relationship. She doesn't want to be, and she doesn't understand why anyone would. Which, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. Domestic Discipline, BDSM, D/s, TTWD (etc) is not for everyone. Just as these arrangements enrich certain relationships and allow their participants to flourish, I would imagine in other relationships it may cause destruction. The dynamic does not work for everyone.
     This blogger claims to have "accidentally" stumbled upon a DD blog whilst looking for a cookie recipe. She was so interested, she kept reading, and then continued to find/read other blogs about DD. She writes about and names specific DD blogs and bloggers, and bad mouths them, their relationships and their spouses. She has commented on posts, joining the conversation as if she were a friendly bystander, presumably to draw people to her page. So far, only two of us have been mentioned, but its only a matter of time before she chooses someone else to  put down.
     I considered making my blog private in order to keep her nosy eyes away from my business, but then I realized that wouldn't solve anything. I am NOT ashamed of who I am, and I'm certainly not ashamed of following a path that makes me happy and secure. If my blog can help one person realize that they are not "weird" or "wrong" and that it's okay to want to submit to their partner, then it's worth keeping public.
   

     To the ugly, offensive little troll, your day will come. I am not going to defend myself or Daddy to you, because it's useless. We have done nothing wrong. What's wrong is you telling other people how to define their love. You are narrow minded and nothing anybody says or does will change that. Continue on with your childish games, all you are is a bully with an internet page to broadcast your ignorance. When you graduate high school and want to have a real conversation, feel free to email me. Meanwhile, please take note that none of us DD bloggers are writing about other peoples' lives on our blogs, we write about our own. That's because we're happy with the lives we live, something I hope you'll one day be.

This is for you...

Normal

Turning Around a Bad Week

     This week has been impossibly difficult. We ran into an unforeseen issue with my car, that cost us a good chunk of money that we don't have to spend. On top of that, I lost a filling and the tooth is infected, and I'm going to need a root canal, which is just more money we don't have. Both of us were extremely stressed out, and we fought several times over the past few days. We've figured the finances out, and the dentist's office is working with me so I can get the work done that I need. However, I was still feeling disconnected and I guess it was more obvious than I thought.
     We were watching tv and Daddy turned to look at me. "What's wrong?" he wanted to know.
     I shrugged.
     That was all the convincing he needed. "C'mon, let's go." he said firmly.
     I stood up, (not without a bit of huffing and maybe a slight eye roll) and he grabbed my arm.
     "Don't roll your eyes," he said, taking me to the bedroom. He let go of me next to the bed, and began unbuckling his belt. He ignored my puppy dog eyes and pulled me over his lap, doubling and folding his belt so he could hold and swing it easily. He didn't give me a warm up and the strokes were crisp. It wasn't a particularly long spanking, much shorter in comparison to others I've had. When he finished, I was pretty close to tears and my bottom had welts on it.
     I was on my knees, and he pulled me close, stroking my hair. I confirmed to him that I was okay, and he released his grip.
      He reached forward, pulling my sweatshirt and tshirt over my head, his hands roaming across my body. One found a sore bottom cheek, and squeezed.
     "Ow!" I squealed, pulling away a little.
     He tightened his grip, leaning closer to me. "Ow what?"
     "My bum hurts!" I playfully complained.
     "How come?"
     "You did it," I smiled bashfully, burying my face in his shoulder.
     "You needed it, didn't you?"
     I really hate when he asks me that. "Yes, Daddy." I admitted, embarrassedly.
     He leaned very close now. "Just like you need me to bend you over the bed right now?"
     I gasped in delight, goosebumps popping up all over my body. "Mmm, yes Sir." I felt his hands sliding around to my back, unhooking my bra.
     He slipped it off me, and then his fingers were pinching my nipples, hard...twisting. "Get up now. Bend over the bed." he ordered. Hands on my hips, he slipped easily into me. He was teasing me, barely entering me at all, and I quickly grew frustrated with this. I pushed back onto him and he grabbed a handful of hair, thrusting hard and fast. The next thing I know, he's flattening himself against my back, and his mouth is right beside my ear. "When you play with yourself today, you will use your plug." His hand wrapped around my throat. "I want pictures. You're under strict instruction. Do you understand little girl?"
     I would have said yes to just about anything in that moment.

     My horrible week doesn't seem so horrible anymore.

Needing to Submit.

     I woke up yesterday in the mood to submit. Now, I know what you're thinking: as a sub, I should wake up everyday in the mood to submit, and honestly, I do...but yesterday was different. I really felt a deep need to feel his dominance. Nothing makes me feel quite as submissive as being restrained, so I arranged our cuffs, blindfold, and flogger on the hipster, on top of our bed. I wrote 'Please Daddy' on our heart shaped white board and left it with all the equipment. 
     When he got home, he read it aloud, but said nothing else.
     Several times we were in the bedroom together, doing something or another, and I could barely stand still, just looking at all the stuff on the bed was making me squirmy and want-y. 
     We had a yummy dinner, and drinks, and oreo ice cream in cones. Then, he told me to meet him in the bedroom. 
     After I'd turned out the lights and the tv off, I followed him to the bedroom. He had me sit on the edge of the bed, and he wrapped the cuffs around my wrists, securing them tightly. After he finished putting the second one on, he looked up and his eyes met mine.
     "Where are the tethers?" he wanted to know.
     "In the drawer..." I answered.
     "Get them."
     Butterflies going crazy in my tummy, I brought him the tethers. 
     Daddy handed me the ankle cuffs and told me to put them on. Once I had, he blindfolded me. Now he helped me to my feet and then positioned me over the hipster. He clipped my wrist cuffs to the hipster, and then attached the ankle cuffs to the tethers, which he clipped into the hipster. The sound of the tethers tightening registered just milliseconds before I felt my ankles being pulled up. 
     This was new. My feet were held up so my legs made a 90 degree angle. Not really uncomfortable, just .. awkward. 
     Then, he left me there for a few minutes. He didn't say anything, but I could hear him moving, around our room, then to the kitchen, and back again. Without a word, he picked up the flogger and started in on my ass. Immediately when I began to whimper, I was told to be quiet. 
     When he stopped hitting me with the flogger, the room was silent for a moment. 
     Behind the blindfold, I think different things than I do when I can see. I have an extremely active imagination, and when I can't see anything, or don't know what's going to happen, I begin to imagine possible outcomes. This in itself is torture as it could be any of a million things, and the anticipation builds higher and higher. I heard his belt buckle clinking, and my heart began to race. I whimpered, and wriggled a little, pulling lightly on my restraints. He was moving around. First I heard it to my left, then the sound came from behind me. The combination of the clinking sound, and my anticipation was making me incredibly wet. I wondered if he could see how wet I was, and that made me wish I could cover up somehow. The clinking sound moved several more times before the belt collides with my bottom, leaving a white-hot stripe across it. Daddy lashed the leather across my warm flesh several more times, then after another moment of silence, I heard the implement drawer opening. Just the sound of it gave me chills. 
     It goes a little blurry here, but I'll do my best to remember what happened next ;p
     He came back and whacked me with something smooth and hard. 
     "Ouch!" I cried out.
     "What is it?" he asked.
     I inwardly groaned. I am awful at guessing implements, and I hate having to do so! I thought frantically as whatever-it-was whacked me a few more times. "Is it a paddle?" I asked. 
     WHACK! on my sit spot. "That's not very specific." WHACK! 
     "The clear paddle?"
     WHACK! 
     "Aaah ... the picture paddle?"
     WHACK! "Nope." WHACK!
     "I don't knooooow," I whined. I started to feel a little panic. Daddy wasn't going to stop spanking me with this whatever-it-was until I guessed what it was .. what if I couldn't guess it? Would he just go on forever? It hurt so much! 
      WHACK! WHACK!
     One last idea popped into my head .. "The hairbrush!?" 
     I heard him smile. 
     "Which one?" he wanted to know. WHACK!
     "Owww, the small one?" 
     "Very good," WHACK! "Once you get it right, then you only have ten left on each cheek." He delivered the last twenty firmly and at a quick pace. I don't remember what implement came next, but it took me a while to figure out. Once I did, and he'd given me the final ten on each with it, he stood behind me, close enough for me to feel him there. He pushed my legs open roughly, and slipped a finger inside me. He worked his magic until I was squirming and moaning, and then he suddenly just stopped. He tapped another implement against my bottom and I immediately knew what it was. Before I could say it, he brought it down on my swollen backside and I yelped. 
     "THE LOOPY!" I cried out. 
     "Good job, baby." he told me, putting his hand in the small of my back as he finished up. 
     I don't remember much of what happened next but somehow I ended up laying on the bed on my back. I still had the cuffs on, but they weren't connected. He was touching me, and talking to me, and it was glorious. Then he moved me, off the bed and around to a different side, and he positioned me how he wanted me, then was gone again.
     The next time I felt him, he was sliding into me. It's all blurred together and I have no idea what happened when, but he alternated between slow, sensual, teasing thrusts to hard and fast. He hit my ass, and pulled my hair, and stuck his fingers in my mouth. His hand tightened around my throat, just enough to send electric thrills through my entire body. He yanked my head back by my hair and growled into my ear, "Does this feel good, babygirl?" He slapped my face. 
     Yes, you read that right. My Daddy, who when we started this was apprehensive about slapping my bottom, slapped my face. It kind of shocked me too, the first couple times it happened. Hell, who am I kidding .. it surprises me every time. Don't get me wrong, I asked for him to do it, and it turns me on A LOT. I'm just still getting used to him being so "Dommy" LOL. He doesn't hit my face hard, but enough that I can feel a bit of a sting. 
     When we were finished, Daddy suggested a shower, so we hopped in together to get cleaned up. 
     I couldn't stop staring at him, or touching him. I felt very clingy, like all I wanted was to be close to him. 
     Even though my hair was wet and Daddy always complains that its cold when its wet, he let me lay my head on his chest when we got into bed. He held me close and we giggled and talked together like lovesick teenagers, my desperate need to submit sated.
     For now.

Things Are Different Now

     When I began writing this blog, I was in the process of telling J about my desire to be spanked/disciplined. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. I had an idea in my mind of what our relationship would look like .. of how he should lead. (typing and then reading that sentence literally makes me cringe.) I wanted him to be strict and to fully take control. I didn't want sex to be mixed in...that bothered me a lot. I felt like I needed only non-sexual dominance from him.
      Looking back at where we began on this journey, and seeing where we are now, amazes me. We have changed, yes ... grown, yes. If you had asked me then if I could see us where we are now, I would have firmly answered no. I have discovered a lot about myself, and my submissive desires/needs. Many of the things I thought I wanted then, I no longer want....just as many of the things I crave and enjoy now, turned me off then.
     Our dynamic has shifted in a major way, and the difference is unbelievable. I am no longer bothered when spanking is mixed with more intimate activities. It randomly occurred to me that I should not be bothered by the ways he chooses to enforce his dominance. That's his decision. I now welcome his sexual dominance, and let me tell you .. has he grown! If you have been reading since the beginning, or close to it, you know that J used to be afraid of "hurting me", he didn't like to leave marks, didn't want to make me cry ... remember that? Now, he pinches and twists my nipples, and demands that I keep my hands above my head, and still, while he does it. He'll slap extremely sensitive body parts, and then smile with pleasure when I cry out. He knows how much it turns me on, and it turns him on too. He makes me tell him WHEN I come if I play with myself when he's not home, and I believe him when he threatens consequences if I don't.
     A few months ago, I joined tumblr, and I made some friends who live in Daddy/babygirl relationships. After reading and viewing their blogs for a bit, I began to fall in love with the idea of J being my Daddy. I couldn't believe how much it resembled the way we naturally interact with each other. It took me quite a while to confess this to J. Despite how right it felt, at the same time it seemed wrong. How could I be turned on at the mere thought of calling J "Daddy," or him calling me "little girl"? Would J think I was some kind of freak? There were literally hundreds of times when the word was sitting there on the edge of my tongue, begging to be uttered, and I swallowed them back, afraid of what his response might be. Then one day, I allowed myself to say it...and you know what? He didn't think I was some kind of freak. He didn't really react to it at all, it was as if I'd called him by his name.
     From that point on, I decided it was okay to let my "little girl" out. I can't even tell you how much happier and how free I feel. The more I let that part of myself show, the more J grew into the "Daddy" role.  I eventually did confess my desire for it, even though it was pretty obvious by that point. His response? No surprise to me, babygirl. I love you so much.
     This all happened a while ago, but I haven't really had the words to write about it. I think part of me was a little hesitant to talk about it because it was going so good and I didn't want to jinx it. Another part was a little worried that my readers wouldn't want to return. The content of this blog is probably going to change a bit. I would not say that we are a DD couple. While discipline is still used, and I would be punished if I disobeyed or did something disrespectful/dishonest etc .. we are more D/s than DD. I have enjoyed the interaction with other DD bloggers, and I hope that they won't shy away from my blog now that recounting events will include some bdsm instead of mainly spanking.

   

Weekend Snapshots

     His hands around my waist, propelling me to the end of the bed and pushing me over to the edge of our bed, and telling me to stay there. He picked up a cell phone charger cord and doubled it over in his hand. Upon the first stroke, I decided that this was by far the worst thing I'd ever felt on my bottom! It put the loopy johnny to shame, and that is hard to do! Thankfully he didn't use it on me too long, but I had stripes on my backside for a few hours afterward.

     He had me lay on the bed, and after opening the implement drawer, he told me not to look. After I reminded him that he could always use the blindfold, he put it on and I lay down over a pile of blankets. He informed me that if I put my hands back there would be further consequences. He wanted to play the guessing game. I havent been spanked with much recently besides the rubber flogger, so I didn't do very good. I think I was crying after the third implement. He was using something, I couldn't figure out what, and I just remember it hurt so bad. I was crying, and I just kept saying "I dont know" over and over. I felt (what I thought were) his fingers running through the back of my hair. It felt kind of odd but I figured it was because my hair was bunched up from the blindfold. He was talking to me, and the combination of his touch and his voice soothed me. I felt myself calm, and then I realized it was the hairbrush he was running lightly through my hair, to give me a hint. I blurted it out and he moved on to another implement. He finished up with the loopy, and when he was done, he sat down on the bed and I lay my head in his lap. He stroked my hair and told me how much he loved me. There was really hot sex afterwards. Really, really hot sex. He liked how my hot bottom felt against him.

     He grabbed me around the waist, and walking behind me, used his body to push me into our bedroom. Once through the door, he used one hand to pull my shirt over my head, baring my top half, then grabbed both my breasts in his hand. He moved me to the end of the bed, and with his mouth next to my ear, asked, "Do you know what I'm going to do to you?"
     "No, sir," I whispered. Suddenly, my pants and panties were about mid-thigh and there was a cool breeze blowing across my exposed bottom.
     "Get your pants off," he said, his belt buckle clinking.
     I slipped them down and stepped out of them. I was expecting to have sex, but then I saw him doubling his belt out of the corner of my eye. The next second, I felt it burning a line across my backside. After a few strokes I cried out, "Ouch!"
     "Shh, I'm just warming it up a little." he told me, continuing to strap me with that damn belt. When he finished, I was sore. "Hmm...what are you supposed to do with a warm bottom?" he asked, tossing his belt on the floor.
     "Put it in the air?" I giggled, and got up on my knees, raising my ass and offering myself to him.
     He took me again. Hard. Rough.

     I stood up from the couch and walked across the room, on a mission for coccoa roasted almonds.
     He grabbed my wrist, and pulled me onto his lap. He wrapped his big arms around me and held me against him.
     "I came over here for the almonds!" I told him playfully.
     "Too bad, you're gonna get some lovins."  He kissed me all over my face, tickling me with his beard. We stayed ilke that for quite a while, my head nuzzled into his neck, his arms wrapped around me.

  


     I've been spanked and fucked so many times between yesterday and today I can't even keep them all straight in my head. Mmm. It has been entirely amazing!! I love my J so much :)

Easter Spanking

     I had lain down on the bed, my teddy bear in my arms, and he came and sat beside me.
     "Are you ready for your spanking now?" he asked.
     I groaned quietly, and hugged my teddy tighter. He hadn't mentioned the spanking all day, and I'd begun to wonder if maybe he'd forgotten.
     "What, you didn't forget, did you?"
     "No,"
     "Well then what's all the fuss for? Are you too tired to have it tonight?"
     It had been a busy weekend, and a long day. We stayed up the night before, playing card games and singing and just having a good time with my family. Which was great, but we ended up with very little sleep going into the busiest day of the weekend.
     I considered how very heavy my eyelids felt, but shook my head. "No, I'm not too tired."
     "Ok, roll over." he ordered, reaching out beside the bed and opening the implement drawer. He pulled out the smaller of the two hairbrushes and began using it on his (very short) hair. He does this almost every time he uses the brush, to drag out the waiting period, I think. He also took out the rubber flogger, and a moment later, he leaned over, tugging down my pants and panties.
     Waiting for the first swat was tortuous, my heart pounding in my ears, the anticipation building with each moment that passed uneventfully. When it finally did land, it caught me by surprise.
     "Ouch!" I complained, but he kept going.
     He alternated cheeks, each swat stinging a bit more than the last. After probably a dozen good ones, he put the brush down and started in with the rubber flogger. He colored my bottom a rosy pink, covering every inch with even strokes.
     I was a little squirmy and whimpering every now and then, but I was doing good. That is, until he set the flogger aside and reached into the drawer. I saw his hand close around the loopy johnny handle and I blurted out, "NO," and my eyes filled with tears. 
     With his other hand, he pulled out the heavy acrylic paddle, and replaced the loopy johnny. *WHACK* The paddle landed in the middle of my left cheek.
     "Ow!" 
     "What was that "no" for?" he asked, as he continued to paddle my already red and sore bum.
     "Owwww!" I complained. "Because I wasn't bad!"
     "Yeah, so?" he countered, never losing stride. The longer I left between his question and my response, the harder his swats became.
      "Before we went away, you said..."
     SWAT! "I can't hear you," he told me matter-of-factly.
     "You said my .. my..." for some reason, the word behavior was sticking in my throat. I couldn't make it come out.
     "Louder," he repeated, two more hard swats landing on my fiery bottom.
     The tears were rolling down my cheeks by now. "You said my behavior would dictate how the sp..spanking went. And you said I dont want to hear the words loopy johnny ... and I wasn't baaaaad!"
     "So you protested? Just because I took it out doesn't mean I'm going to use it, I had to take the tape out to get the paddle, too .. I didn't use that, did I?" his voice was stern, and it sent a shiver through me as another sob overtook me.
     "No, sirrrr." I whimpered into the ball of comforter clutched in my fists.
     "Ok then." He told me I'd be getting 20 more on each, and then it would be over. When he'd delivered the final swats, he replaced all the implements in the drawer, and rubbed lotion on my bum.
     Normally, I need more time to recover after a spanking which has made me cry. I need more cuddles and love and kisses, but not this time. I pushed my backside up, offering myself to him. Feeling his hand dip between my legs made me quiver with pleasure, and moments later, he grabbed me by my ankles and yanked me down to the end of the bed.
     "Ass in the air." he commanded, shedding his clothes.
     I assumed the position and felt him pressing into me seconds later. It was bliss. We'd gone the entire weekend with no sex and I had been desperately wanting.
     He took me hard and fast.
     I was floating on submission, my ass stinging and sore, feeling his strong, calloused hands gripping at my body, closing around my throat, firmly pulling my hair ... it was glorious.

     Afterwards, we lay together, my head on his chest and his arm around me. Our breathing slowed and our heartrates gradually returned to normal, and we fell asleep together, happy to be home.

A Warning

I was bent over, folding some things I was going to be packing for our weekend away.

Suddenly, he was behind me, bending over me, his mouth right beside my ear. "Just warning you, since we'll be away all weekend and I don't think you want to be spanked in a house full of your family...there will be an Easter Sunday spanking. Your behavior this weekend will dictate how the spanking is conducted and what implements are used." he stood up, pulling me up to stand too. He pressed his body against mine and leaned down again to whisper, "I know you don't want to hear the words loopy johnny..."

Just hearing him say it then made my stomach drop. "No, Sir!"

He stepped away and gave me some space, but I didnt want any.

I moved to him and leaned against his chest, relaxing into him as his arms tightened around me.

"What's the matter, baby?" he asked.

"Can I maybe have a little one before we go?" I whispered into his chest. I always get anxious when we travel, no matter where we're going. Throw in the fact we'll be spending the weekend with my dad...I was like a walking ball of stress.

"One what?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

I raised an eyebrow and buried my face shyly.

"Go get the whip," he told me, referring to the rubber flogger, his new favorite. He unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, pulling them down, followed by my panties. He was striking me hard and I was crying out. He told me more than once to be quiet. He didn't finish until he'd colored my whole bottom red, then helped me up and held me in his arms.

Just like that, I felt stable and centered again. I reciprocated his kisses, and soaked up his loving words. It was a wonderful moment, and if that was just for fun, I'll DEFINITELY be on my very best behavior this weekend!

Trouble pt 2

     Last night, after his shower, he hugged me. "How are you?" he asked.
     I shrugged nervously. "Pretty good,"
     "Why just pretty good? Are you nervous about something?" his voice was amused, knowing.
     "Yes, sir.."
     "What are you nervous about?"
     "Because I'm going to get a spanking," I whispered into his neck, nuzzling my face against him.
     "Why are you gonna get a spanking?" J asked.
     By this time I was blushing profusely. "Because I didn't do what I was supposed to..."
     "And what was that?"
     "To text you," I was hoping to avoid saying the actual trangression, because just thinking about saying it made me cringe.
     "Hmm. Why did you do that?" he wondered.
     "I dont know,"
     "Alright, well .. let's go watch tv for a little while."

     It turned out being a little more than a little while, and by the time we went to bed, we both were very tired. I waited for him to instruct me how/where he wanted me, but he didn't. He climbed into bed and said, "I'm going to move your spanking to tomorrow. When the baby takes his first  nap."
     I whimpered a little bit. I just wanted it over with! I'd spent the whole day, anxious about it, nervous ... I didn't want to have to wait longer!
     "What?" he asked, hearing my whimpered complaint. "You can't handle waiting?"
     I swallowed my anxiety and nerves, and shrugged my shoulders. "It's fine...It's your call." I had to tell myself that a few more times, to be okay with it, but its true. It's his call, and if he's too tired to punish me, well then I guess I have to deal with my nerves for a few more hours. I brought the punishment on myself, so I should have to take the consequences.
     He kissed me, and told me he loved me, and we went to bed.

     When the time came the next day, I sat down on the edge of the bed while he looked into the drawer full of implements. He let me believe for a moment that he was considering the loopy, but then he told me that he wasn't going to use it, and asked me where his little brush was.
     "On the hutch sweetie," I said, and pointed out the brush's location. What a good girl I am, huh?
     He came over, and bent me over the bed, so my bottom was high and vulnerable. He patted my sit spot lovingly and said, "I'm not going to go hard on you. But you said you were going to text me when you came, right?"
     "You told me to," I replied.
     "Yes, but you said you would, didn't you?" 
     "Yes sir," I murmured, and he began.
     He gave me a few solid swats on my sit spot, then another few on the other side. "Are you going to tell me next time I ask you to?"
     "Yes sir!"
     He gave me a total of maybe 12 good firm whacks to my lower bum and sit spot, and I was on the verge of tears when he went back to the drawer, placing the brush in and taking out the rubber flogger. He finished up the spanking with that, and it didn't last much longer, nor was it too hard, but I sure did feel punished when he was done. He put the flogger away and came back to me, laying down on the bed and pulling me close against his body. He stroked my hair and spoke softly to me. "Are you going to text me next time, baby?" he wanted to know. I assured him I would. "There have been a few times you haven't. Weren't there?"
     "Yeah,"
     "Why?"
     "I dont know," I shrugged.
     "I want you to tell me, okay? I'm not saying every time. But when I tell you, I expect you to."
     "Yes sir," I nodded, and felt him tighten his arms around me.
     We talked a little bit longer like this, and then J got up and went to the kitchen for something.
     I got off the bed and started changing. I put on some lacy panties and a bra, and turned around to examine my bottom in the mirror. It was deep red on my sit spots from the brush, and then splotches and lines of red from the flogger. I sauntered out of our room and to the kitchen, putting an arm on the wall and staring seductively at my husband. "Hi baby," I said, and he turned around.
     "Mmm," he said, but continued what he was doing.
     I continued speaking flirtaciously, and he flirted back but made no advances, so I started back toward the bedroom.
     He followed me in, and we proceeded to have the hottest, most amazing sex of our relationship so far. He was both rough and gentle, at all the right times. He mixed in just the right amount of pain with my pleasure and gosh .. it was just HOT. We came together, a first for us. Normally, I have trouble reaching orgasm through plain old penetration (thats to say, it's never happened), but today was an exception for sure! WOW!
     Afterward, we hopped in the shower, and he asked me if I'd blogged about my punishment, or if I was going to. I told him I'd written a post last night, while I was waiting for my sentence to be carried out. When he asked what I wrote about, I asked if he wanted to read it.
     He shook his head. "No thank you. I don't read your blog for a reason," which he went on a few moments later to explain as being: "When I used to read your blog, it made me second guess what I was doing and thats not good, you know? If I read about you being nervous or something, it made me doubt myself when doing it again. I like to read our blog, because you can share the important things there."
     I had never thought of it that way. I had always assumed that he just didn't care enough about what I was thinking or feeling to read my blog, that it was too much effort for what it was worth. How wrong I was. I'm thankful to have a place to process and work through my feelings without worrying that I will hurt him or make him second guess his dominance.
     He handed me my towel and we got out of the shower. As I dried off, he said, "You're going to go curly today, right?"
     I smiled. "Yes sir!" I said enthusiastically, as he was walking out of the bathroom.
     He turned around, that killer smile plastered across his face. "That's my baby." he said affectionately, and went to the bedroom to dress.
     WIN!