Wednesday night, we talked as we lay in bed. He told me that he understood that sometimes it's easier for me to communicate through written word rather than verbally, but that it is not that way for him. He pointed out that if he asks me a direct question, I had better answer it right then and there because it wasn't fair for me to brush it off like it's nothing, and be upset about it for days, leaving him wondering what the hell happened. I felt terrible for my part in all this. He was completely right. I had been thinking only of myself in those situations, and how could I expect him to do right by me if he had no idea what was right? He kissed me and accepted my endless apologies, and held me close to his body. Everything felt good again.
I was supposed to go to the gym on Wednesday. A few weeks ago, after my last dr appointment when they expressed concern about my weight gain during this pregnancy, J and I decided that I should be going to the gym 3 times a week, no excuses. I asked J to help me with this, since I'd been trying to go to the gym a few times a week already, and usually only made it once. I had the best intentions, with no motivation to back me up. He agreed, and we decided to make up a gym plan at the beginning of each week, and unless otherwise approved by J, I was to stick to that plan. Anyway, to shorten this rambling and get to the point, I didn't end up going Wednesday. I didn't do it intentionally, I just didn't think about it. When J got home from work that night, though, he asked me if I went, and I just shook my head. Not thinking it was a big deal, I said "No, I'll go tomorrow instead."
He gave me a look, one that I havent seen in a while, and replied, "Are you testing me, woman?"
I shook my head fiercely. "No..." I really wasn't! I didn't think it'd be a big deal.
"Why didn't you go, then?" he wanted to know.
"Honey, I just didn't think about it." I shrugged.
The subject was dropped, and I thought I'd heard the last of it.
He reminded me yesterday morning that I needed to go to the gym to make up for Wednesday. I agreed, even though I didn't feel like going. However, I dragged myself anyway, knowing if I didn't, there wouldn't be enough days left in the week for me to fit in my mandatory three.
After, I went to the bank and paid our bills, then to the grocery store to get some ingredients we didn't have at home so I could make dinner. When I got home I made corn muffins to have with dinner (J's favorite), and banana bread with the brown bananas on the counter. I was pretty much exhausted by the time he got home (it doesnt take much these days!) and I laid on the couch while he worked in the nursery for a little bit. Then of course I got up to make dinner, and we ate together. We had a nice night.
When he'd finished up for the night in the nursery, he went and showered, and then retreated to the bedroom for a minute. I figured he needed to grab a shirt or something, so I didn't pay any attention. He came back, and we watched American Idol, and played with our dog for a while. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the loopy johnny on top of the mantle. How the hell did I miss that being brought out? My heart started to beat loudly in my ears, but I didn't want to draw attention to the fact I knew it was there. I didnt want to hasten my fate. Soon after my noticing the evil implement, J got up and put the dog in her crate for the night. Coming back into the living room, he grabbed the loopy off the mantle and ordered me to come kneel on the loveseat beside him, to put my arms on the back of it.
I did that, and he started whacking me with it. This was not a play spanking. HOLY CRAP that thing hurts! I couldn't stay still for the life of me, and I tried really hard. We had to move because I was almost hitting my head on the wall behind the loveseat. On the bigger couch, I had the bay window to lean on. There was a blanket up there I balled up in my fist and buried my face in. I could hear J talking and I struggled to focus on what he was saying.
"Why didn't you go to the gym yesterday??" he asked, not slowing his assault any.
I could hear the damn thing whistle before it struck my burning skin. "I dont knoooow," I wailed.
"Was it intentional?"
"Noo," I felt like I was literally on fire, each stroke searing my poor defenseless butt.
Then he announced I'd be getting 45 on each cheek to start. I tried to wrap my mind around that. To start. I didn't know how much of this I could take. It was freaking intense. I couldn't keep my hands in front of me and had to be reminded quite a few times. Thank God he didn't give me extra for that, but I think he knew I really was trying to. I just couldn't. After that set, I was panting and tears stung my eyes. I wasn't exactly crying yet, but it took a moment to catch my breath. He asked me if I was going to go to the gym on time, when I was supposed to.
"Yes sir," I murmured.
"Okay. Now you're going to get 60 on each cheek." He lectured through these 120 swats about getting to the gym on my scheduled day, and going through him if I wanted to change days for any reason. Of course, he was right. Every time I'd asked to switch days he's approved it, so I should have just asked. Then he pointed out that I'd asked him to make sure I go three times a week, and thats exactly what he was going to do.
By the end of that set I was crying. He told me I could relax for a minute and take a break. He held me and asked if I was doing okay. I told him that I was, and snuggled into his chest for a minute. Once I'd calmed down, he told me to get back up for the rest. I was going to get 75 more on each and then I'd be done. It was intense. I cried, and squirmed, and my hands came back a few times again, but he just sternly told me to get them out of the way. When it was over I was sobbing, and he held me, kissing my hair. He told me he loved me, and we cuddled together and watched some more tv.
Even though my butt is bruised and still sore, I feel better. Things feel right again. I'll tell you one thing, I certainly won't be missing any more gym appointments. I NEVER want to be spanked with that loopy again. Ever.
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