And So It Begins ...

   I sent J the link to my post yesterday.
   He texted me back, saying, So you want one every day?
   My stomach twisted in knots. I did want them, so why was it so hard to admit that?  I replied with would you mind? Its obviously up to you how you decide to do it, but it doesnt need to be anything particularly long or hard. Idk what it is lately, but I've been feeling like I need them more often.
   I'll see what I can do.
   I thanked him up and down for being so understanding, and not thinking I'm crazy (though I'm sure he still does, he just would never admit it to me). He of course brushed it off, and told me he loved me.
   Later, when he got home, he held me and kissed my head, and told me that we'd be having them in the mornings when we get up. I agreed, and the subject was dropped.

   When I woke up, of course it was the first thing on my mind. I was a little nervous, because I had no idea what he was planning to do for these daily spankings.
   It was almost noon when we woke up, and J went to the grocery store to grab some food that he could make quickly for lunch and have enough left over to bring to work. When he got back, I asked about the spanking and he said since we got up late, I'd get it after lunch.
   We ate together, and then he made a plate up for work, and I put the rest of the leftovers in a tupperware container and stuck it in the fridge. As I was putting the pot in the sink, J came up behind me.
   "Let's go," he said firmly.
   I was filling the pot with soap and water so it could soak for a little bit, and I nodded. "One minute,"
   J stood beside me as it filled, then reached out and shut the water off. "Come on."
   Darn. No such thing as stalling today! I followed him into the bedroom, where he'd taken out the strap. I groaned.
   "What?" he asked, as I climbed up onto the love seat.
   "Nothing," I said quietly.
   He smacked me with the strap. "What did you say?" he asked, yanking my sweat pants down.
   "I didn't say anything!" I cried, as the strap caught the bottom of my left cheek.
   "You moaned something," he said firmly, bringing the strap down again.
   "Ow! I just moaned, I didn't say anything in particular..."
   He gave me a few more before asking, "Why did you moan?" the strap kept coming down.
   "Owww, because I don't like the strap! IT HURTS!"
   This seemed to be a satisfying answer, as he stopped asking questions. "Today, I'm going to give you 75 on each and then we'll be done."
   I didn't say anything, but by the third or fourth of the first 75, my hand had made it's way back to protect my poor butt.
   "Move your hands, babe."
   I did, but they didn't stay in front of me for long.
   "Move them!"
   "I'm sorry," I whimpered, moving them back in front of me. I tried my hardest to keep them in front of me, but the damn strap hurt SO bad today! My body wriggled and twisted to escape the blows, and J was getting frustrated.
   "Stop moving," he warned me.
   "I can't help it," I whispered. "I'm sorry," and I was. I really wasn't trying to move around so much, but my body had a mind of its own. I felt J's arm go around my waist and he lifted me up back into position, and held me there tightly while he delivered the rest of the first set. 
   The next 75 started on the other side and they came down fast.
   I did better staying still with these ones, but not much better. He didn't have to hold me in place, which I considered a good thing. My hands came back a few times. He warned me that he was going to hit them, and that was the last time they went back. I know at one point I said, "I can't," which wasn't true. It may have felt like it at the time, but I certainly was well within my boundaries. Not sure why today was so rough.
   Afterward, he put the strap away and called me to him. He held me close to my body and asked if that was a good start up to the dailys. I told him it was. He pointed out that I'd resisted a lot, and I apologized. It was unintentional. I told him it hurt a lot, and he reminded me that was the point.
   We went back to the living room to spend the last 45 minutes together before he had to leave for work. I laid with my head in his lap and we talked. I asked, "Do you think maybe I'm just sore from the other nights spanking and thats why it hurt so much today?"
   "The other night wasn't very hard," he told me matter-of-factly.
   "Yes it was!" I insisted. "You used the loopy, and I was crying way before that..."
   "I didn't use it for very long," he pointed out. "Maybe you're just sensitive today."
   I nodded.
   "Tomorrow, it's going to be something different." he told me. When I looked up at him, he asked if that made me nervous.
   I shrugged.
   "Why?" he asked.
   "Because I trust you." I answered, and it came from a place that I didn't know existed to the extent that it does. Usually, I would be nervous. However, I trust J to do what he feels is best, and I know that he'd never go beyond what I could handle.
   "Even if I told you it's something you don't like?"
   Normally, my insides would churn at this. I'd imagine the worst. Instead, I shrugged again.
   "You still trust me?" he asked, and I nodded.
   I pointed out that it was Saturday, and suggested that a morning spanking wouldn't be necessary since we'd be having maintenance. He agreed.
   "You're still getting your big one tomorrow night, though."

   Sitting on a still sore bottom, I'm thinking tomorrow isn't going to be pleasant. I looked at my butt after J left for work, and have a semi-circle bruise on my right thigh from the end of the strap. Ouchie. You can bet I did everything I was supposed to do today!

   I'm glad, however, that J decided to go along with the daily spankings. I'm hoping that as well as helping me stay level headed and relaxed, they will help him be even more comfortable in his role. He's been doing an excellent job, and I hope that he can see that the way I do. I'm so very lucky to have him!