I have been feeling a little strange lately. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I am constantly feeling like I need to be spanked. Friday night, I texted J at work and told him I wouldn't mind a spanking when he got home. I got one. Saturday was maintenance and J chose a card, and I was spanked again. Sunday, I asked for a spanking and J decided on three minutes with the cane, and 150 on each with the black strap. All day yesterday I wanted to be spanked, but J wasnt feeling well so I didn't bring it up. He was home from work and for him to call out of work, he has to be feeling really bad. I just wanted him to be able to rest.
Today, I just keep thinking about it. Maybe it's because the other spankings didn't bring me to tears, and I'm looking for that release? Last night, we watched a movie in bed (My Sister's Keeper, very good movie, terrible mistake to watch when pregnant and emotional,) and I cried practically through the whole thing. Granted, it was a sad movie, but it felt good to cry. J held me and whispered to me and kissed my head and made me feel secure. But I still want to be spanked. I don't know why, all I know is I should bring it up to J before it gets out of hand. I know from experience that if I say nothing and just let it build, it's going to get ugly and that's the last thing either of us wants. I just hate asking for it, I get anxious and nervous and sort of ashamed. I especially feel embarassed because I've been spanked 3 out of the last 4 days. Ugh. I wish I could sort through these feelings!
I've sooo been there! You wanna know what I did?
ReplyDeleteI wrote him a letter (on myspace or something), explaining exactly what I needed. I had been spanked so much that week, but I still didn't feel fulfilled. I asked him to spank me long and slow and hard, and that it was purely for a release. I asked him not to say anything, and he didn't. (aside from things like 'are you ready for your panties to come down?' and stuff like that)
Anyways, I fought it. It was different, and just focusing on getting a release made it kinda difficult. I finally let go and cried like a baby (I was also pregnant when this happened). When it was all said and done, I felt amazing.. and didn't want another spanking for like.. weeks.
I always used to write it in letters, though. It was too hard to say it out loud, and I always forgot something important.
I hope you get what you want/need. Sorry this was so long winded!
I feel that way often. When I am particularly stressed at work I want to be spanked three times a day!!! Right now we are doing maintenance almost every day because that is what seems to work best for me right now. Recently though I told him I needed him to be especially severe because I really needed some stress relief. He spanked me until I was sobbing. It was great. I'm sure once you express your need it will happen.
ReplyDeleteThis is She had some nice advice. I hope you can sort things out. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteFD
Honestly kiddo, I really think it's hormones and you should not feel ashamed. I do think you should let him know that you feel this way and may for a while and it might be hormones, but can he just stick with you and help you out. He'll be there for you IF you let him.
ReplyDeleteHormones girly, hormones!!! Don't be ashamed!
This is She : a lot of the communicating I do, especially about ttwd is through writing. Its very hard for me to express all my thoughts the way I want to if I'm not writing them out. J has expressed his wish for me to communicate verbally with him about this as well, so I've been doing my best to do so.
ReplyDeleteJW : I talked to J a little bit ago and admitted that I needed to be spanked (again). Now I'm in nervous mode waiting for him to get home from work.
FD : Yes, she did have good advice. Thanks for the luck!
CedenoGems : I think you're on to something, there. It's so weird how much my tolerance etc has changed during the pregnancy. At the beginning, what would be considered a wimpy spanking to most would leave me teary eyed, and now .. it hurts, but not as much. It really has been a rollercoaster. J has been great, though, and I know he's going to help me through it.