That's exactly what I'll say if he even dares try to spank me tonight. I am so fed up! I am crazy stressed out and full of emotions I would gladly not feel, so for my sanity's sake, I can not have another spanking blown off. I'm starting to feel like were not cut out for this. It's obviously not as important to him as it is to me (if at all).
If it's not clear, he fell asleep last night. I shouldn't be surprised, because I expected him to, but I just hoped maybe he'd keep his word this time.
Lately I am feeling like a terrible wife, and an even worse mother. I am constantly irritated with J, and most other people I come into contact with. I often think I wasn't meant to be a mom. All my life, all I've wanted was to have children. I just knew I was supposed to be a mother. Now that my baby is here, all I find myself thinking is he deserves better. Someone who doesn't feel like jumping off a cliff when he starts crying (more like won't stop). Dont get me wrong, I am grateful for all that I have. I am extremely lucky to have my family, and my baby boy is an absolute blessing. I just am overwhelmed, and I'm honestly a little afraid it might be more, might be ppd. I don't know.
What I do know is that I am worn. In a world where nothing goes as planned anymore, I need one thing that is predictable. I need to know that when I'm falling apart (NOW!!), that he will be there to smack some sense into me, and right now, Im not feeling the stability I usually do. What I am feeling is insecure, inadequate, insane.
I'm not a professional, but I don't think a spanking is going to take care of all the issues you mentioned.
ReplyDeleteFrom what you are describing it sounds like you need to talk to a professional. I'm so sorry that you are feeling insecure, inadequate, and insane.
Please go see your Dr. and tell him or her what you're feeling!
With love,
Kitty
Aww Heather, having a new baby and the life changes that means can be really overwhelming. And then there's the hormones. This almost sounds like you might have some Post-Partum Depression. I'm with Kitty...call your ObGyn!
ReplyDeleteSara
Sounds like a spanking might be something that really helps right now. I dont recommend telling him no, I recommend telling him what you just wrote to all of us :) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHang on Heather!! Sounds like post-partum to me too. There is help out there, you just have to ask for it...and please don't underestimate the value of a good night's sleep, a quiet walk outdoors, and an hour of "alone" time. Is there anyone who you would trust to watch the baby for an hour or so? I used to just wander the aisles of my CVS...but atleast it was a break. Know you're not alone...we all care about you....Hugs!
ReplyDeleteDef just sounds like the *normal* mom stuff sweetie. I feel like this almost everyday and all I ever wanted to do is be a mom. There are good days and bad days....just like there were before you had your baby. Hang on.....not sleeping and having your world turned upside down are sure fire ways to stress you out! Tell your husband what it is your needing....open communication is very important when you start your family....I'm only 26 but i've definitely learned that kids will become the biggest reason to cause separation in a couple....talk to him and share your heart! And remember that with Dd you need to do it yall's way...
ReplyDeletehang in there hon, new born babies are hard work and everything changes in an instance. It does get better, honest :) And you are a first class wonderul great mom and a fabulous wife, remember that always. Then as sara said, there are the hormones. Id first go talk to the doctor, then id talk to hubby and tell him exactly what you said here.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs xxx
Are you feeling any different today?! If you need to talk or e mail please know that you can write me or I wouldn't even mind having a phone chat one evening!
ReplyDeleteI think this is normal babe. You could have some ppd, sure. I think yoh need to have a talk with him. Lay it out on the line what you need.
ReplyDeleteYou are a great mom and a great wife. This is hard to get used to. A new baby changes everything! Give it some time. But TELL him!
I don't want to hear you talk like that about yourself again. You can do this. You are stronger than you think. If you need to talk, send me a message.
Hugs,
Kelly
Sounds like some "baby blues". Wouldn't go as far ad PPD yet based solely on this post (because that requires some kind of pharm treatment, and you are nursing, may want to weigh out the risk benefit there). Babies change things, it's early. You will find your way with it. It's very isolating. This is the hardest job in the world. I was a young mother as well. (Now I'm an old hag;p) We can chat of you want.
ReplyDeleteLaurie
This too shall pass! Your emotions are very strong right now, but emotions can tell you things that are not quite the truth.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE meant to be a mom. His mom. That's why God placed him in your arms. Being a new mother is overwhelming. No question. So give yourself a break, ask for help if you feel buried. Talk to your doctor about wildly swinging moods or any despair.
Tell your husband just what you said here. Say "I need you to..." and do it without being critical. Men cannot listen if they feel cornered or criticized. They just kind of shut down.
He wants to be there for you and he may not know what to do or say.
Heather, hang in there! Listen to what everyone said. Get checked out for PPD, and TALK to J. Make sure you ask for help from any friends and family too! Anyone who's had a kid (and most who haven't) will COMPLETELY understand, but they won't be able to help unless you ask.
ReplyDeleteI SO feel for you! I remember those days (and sometimes I still have them!). LOL, my kid is fussing right now, too.
It's so hard having a newborn, and it has NOTHING to do with you being a good mom. EVERYONE goes through this. It's a huge transition, and no one, no matter how strong they are, feels equipped to deal with it. And yes, you may need some help, there's nothing wrong with that. If you don't want to take anything because you're breastfeeding, I recommend the tincture "Baby Blues" by Wishgarden. If you can't find it at a health food store, google it and get it online.
I'm here for you if you need anything, even to chat if you want (as well as also having an infant, I also have a therapy background). Please feel free to email me anytime at kayandjay4ever@gmail.com.
Hugs,
Kay :)