I'm lucky and I know it

     There have been a few posts recently about comparing the grass on the other side of the fence to the grass in your own yard, and they couldn't have come at a better time.
     It's way too easy to be swept away in "I wish" instead of appreciating what you do have, and it's surpremely important to remember that no matter how "bad" you think you have it, there is always someone worse off. Therefore, I decided to dedicate this post to writing about what I appreciate in my life.
    

1. I am lucky enough to have a husband who loves me more than anything in the world, more than he loves himself.
2. I am lucky enough to have a healthy, happy son.
3. I lucky enough to be able to watch him grow, and see that indescribable sparkle in his eye when he learns or discovers something new.
4. I am lucky enough to have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food on my table.
5. I am lucky enough to have health insurance, in a country where far too many do not.
6. I am lucky enough to have a man in my life who draws me closer in times of trouble rather than pushing me away.
7. I am lucky enough to have a good relationship with my brother and sisters.
8. I am lucky enough to have a safe, reliable vehicle.
9. I am lucky enough to have the option to stay home and take care of my family.
10. I am lucky enough to have a husband who is understanding about my kinks and "special" needs, and does his best to do whatever he can to meet those needs and explore and fulfill my kinks.

     There are times when I struggle, believe me. Sometimes little evil thoughts infiltrate my brain and turn my logic against me. The most common intruder is the little whisper that J doesn't need my submission in the way that I need his dominance. Sure, he appreciates it, and he even enjoys it (I think) but he doesn't feel it deep in his bones. There are days when I literally am aching to feel his dominance, to kneel before him and submit to his every desire. He doesn't feel that ache.

     And, thats okay. It doesn't mean he can't dominate me and continue to grow in his dominant role. It just means that we have to work a little harder at this, and that I need to communicate my needs clearly to him because he's got nothing to work off of other than what I tell him.