The Healthy Submissive (a stolen blurb)

     So, I found this little description of a healthy submissive over at Divine Dreamings and many of the points I could relate to, so I thought I would repost it here for my lovely followers to see as well :)

     I have bolded the points that I felt really described myself.

1. The healthy submissive is capable of, and thrives on, intense, intimate, emotionally open

 relationships. This is often evident in the number of nourishing, sustaining, and life affirming

friendships she makes over the years.

2. The healthy submissive is a giver. She often needs help to ration herself because her impulses

nearly always lead her to want to do good for others.

3. The healthy submissive is capable of intense joy, especially in the context

of a sustaining relationship.

4. The healthy submissive finds significant relaxation when properly related.

She is at ease in that place.

5. The healthy submissive has finely tuned interpersonal sensitivity. She is reactive

 to subtle shifts in the emotional tone of others. - this one is especially

true for me... and I'm much more reactive to J's shifts in emotional

tone than anyone else's, though I am still affected by others around me,

just not as significantly as by J.

6. The healthy submissive has a fluidity of self, a flexibility that enables her to adapt to changing circumstances.

7. The healthy submissive is playful.

8. The healthy submissive has no more than the usual cultural conflicts about her body,

and its goodness and beauty.

9. The healthy submissive takes pride in her accomplishments.

10. The healthy submissive accepts herself as she is, knowing that while her culture values independence

and self sufficiency, she has strong dependency needs and that there is no inherent

“wrongness” about those needs. - this is one I still have some trouble with.

11. The healthy submissive seeks nourishing relationships.

12. The healthy submissive, in accepting herself “as is” is tolerant of others. But neither will

she allow anyone to tell her what her truth should be. - because I know what it feels like

to have a need you can't control and hardly understand, I find myself to be extremely tolerant.

13. The healthy submissive has a reasonable self concept, aware of her

difficulties as well as her strengths. - while I have a tendency to focus on the

weaknesses rather than the strengths, I do recognize that I have both :)

14. The healthy submissive hunger is to be the object of an intense and penetrating understanding. When her nature is understood and she is held in a loving and firm frame, her devotion is

almost limitless. The healthy submissive has an enormous capacity for devotion, from

which springs her service.