I'm so done being pregnant. I want my body back. I love the kid to death, but I'm ready for him to be out. My hips hurt, my back hurts, my knees hurt. I have Braxton Hicks so much, and even they're starting to move from the "uncomfortable" realm to wtf?!
I feel so unattractive. J always tells me how I'm such a "cute pregnant person." I don't want to be cute! I want him to want me. We havent made love in over a month. In fact, I think we're closing in on two! I didn't think I'd mind all that much, but I feel unwanted, despite how beautiful J always tells me I am. I'm sure he hasn't tried to make love in so long because the last time we did it, it kinda hurt, and my belly got in the way. I just want him to touch me! :( Thankfully, we talked about this today, and we're going to try to work through it tonight.
I feel so lonely. I miss working. I know that when Silas comes, I will be busy taking care of him, and I will be glad that I am able to be home with him. But now, I feel so disconnected from the world. I don't go out. Once in a great while I will get bagels with a couple girls I used to work with, but that doesn't happen enough, and when it does, I find myself sitting by quietly listening to their conversations and poking in every now and then. We're at different places in our lives. They're in college, and doing what college kids do. I just miss having the companionship of girlfriends. There was a girl I was friends with all through middle school, high school, and the year of college that I attended as a full time student. We were literally inseperable. People got so accustomed to seeing us together, that if we were ever apart, someone always asked where the other was. She was like my sister, we shared everything. Then she started dating her boyfriend, who turned her into a self absorbed biatch, and we don't even speak anymore. It's rather sad, and I'm obviously still not over it. Ugh.
Anyway, I feel a little better now that I've rambled on and complained for a bit. Sorry to bore you all.
I identify with the friend thing. There are so many times you think it will be a lifelong friendship and then life changes and that's that! It is sad.
ReplyDeleteI had to lauch at the being over the pregnancy thing. Soooo many women are like that in the end. Start walking every day, eating eggplant, drinking teas...it starts to get nutty!
Entertaining for the rest of us though!!
It seems lonely I know.. I was 18 married and had my first.. Yeah i had other friends that had babies too at my age but they only called to drop of their babies, they only stayed the night if they were to drunk to drive home, I never went out they always did..
ReplyDeleteIdk how close you are to delivery but I have to tell you that the last month seems like an eternity and I'm not kidding.. O and with my daughter it was worse.. She was the youngest and I wanted my little girl. I was on a baby board and everyone seemed to have their babies first. The board was Sept-Oct and i wasnt due till the end of Oct I was going nuts. She did come a week early but man I thought shed never come.. I remember crying I WANT TO HOLD MY BABY!!! Now shes 7 and I'm trying to figure out how to put her back ROFL!!! Of course I love her but Ya know or you will know!!!
Hugs and it will be ok,,, pretty soon you will say "SLEEP?? Whats sleep??"" Help!!! lol
I love being pregnant both times - until the last few weeks of each pregnancy. You're not going to feel at your peak for a while, you won't like your looks and you're tired and annoyed and thankfully it will eventually come to an end. That's when the most amazing time of your life will begin. It will have it's ups and downs too but it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
ReplyDeleteHang in there,
PK
The end of a pregnancy seems to last forever, I think it is nature's way of making us eager for labor!~ Remeber soon you will be holding the most amazing miracle in your arms....
ReplyDeleteabby
CedenoGems, I dont think I've ever had eggplant in my life! Is it supposed to bring on labor?
ReplyDeleteDaisy, I've got 6 weeks left til my due date, but praying he comes early. I've been measuring a couple weeks ahead my last few appointments, so hoping he makes an early appearance! I wish I remembered what sleep was, I'm already getting close to none!
PK, I'm certainly in that miserable "last weeks" phase. I'm so ready for him to be here, I want to be able to hold him. It's going to be so worth it, I know.
Abby, I'm looking forward to labor! Everyone thinks I'm nuts because I'm not nervous, I just want it over with! I'm so ready to have him in my arms.
Yes it is! We have an italian restaurant here that serves it and if you have the baby within a week or something like that you get a meal free!! There are actually quite a lot of photos on the wall of those who ate it and then had the baby within the required time!!!
ReplyDeleteCedeno, I will be trying that for sure! I've also been told that tropical fruits like pineapple and mango are known to induce labor, as well as semen! It's going to be an interesting month, I can tell you that! :D
ReplyDeleteIt's all normal! But don't stop having sex or being intimate..you won't have time and won't be able to for awhile after! So get it ON, lol. Hope you feel better. Try to meet some other new moms too, it's so nice to get advice, whine together about sleepless nights, or eventually share babysitting.
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