Change.

   Usually, Saturday is maintenance day. We had decided that since I'd be getting a big spanking Saturday night, the morning spanking wouldn't be necessary. After a long day (we had a birthday party to go to for a one year old), J wasn't feeling well and I was pretty exhausted myself. He told me maintenance would be post-poned until Sunday. I felt the same pang of disappointment that I always do if maintenance is put off, but it's becoming easier for me to accept that sometimes, life just gets in the way. Things will not always be conducive to doing exactly what we want when we want, and it's not the end of the world (a very important thing to remember, especially with a little one on the way)! I used to get very upset when this happened, but I was only disappointed for a few minutes, knowing it would happen the next day.
   Sunday night, J pointed to the loveseat, and went to the drawer.
   I watched him take out the black strap, loopy, and paddle out of the drawer before climbing onto the loveseat.
   He started with the loopy, and spanked me with it for about 5 minutes.
   It was hard for me to keep my hands in front of me, as it always is with the loopy. At one point, he took my hand and moved it to the loveseat in front of me, placing it firmly down and telling me not to put it back again.
   I was a little teary eyed, and breathing heavy by the time he finished with the loopy.
   "I'm going to give you a break to regain your composure." he told me, his voice calm and stern.
   My chest heaved, and I focused on breathing and calming myself down. Just when I'd started to feel in control of myself, he picked up the strap.
   "You're going to get 75 on each with this," he started without further pause.
   The strap hurt, but not as bad as I'd expected. The loopy had well warmed my poor butt and the strap felt like nothing compared to that awful loop. When he'd finished with that, I was panting again, and not looking forward to the paddle.
   "Okay, now you're going to get 50 on each, and you'll be all done."
   He started right in, bringing the paddle down in quick succession.
   I felt myself losing control again as the paddle burned my already heated cheeks. I wiggled and squirmed, until J ordered me to stay still. I used all my self control to keep myself still, and found myself sobbing, the upper part of my body draped over the top of the loveseat.
   He put the implements away, and came over, hugging me to him. He kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry it had to be so hard, but it's been two days...and you needed it." After we snuggeld for a moment, he rubbed some lotion on for me, relieving some of the sting and heat.
 
   This morning, I was spanked again. He used the strap and started out giving me 25 on each, then 50 on each with the loopy.
   It was over relatively quickly but it felt like forever. My butt was still tender from last night. While it was happening, I couldn't help but think I'd gotten myself in over my head. But after the fact, I started really thinking about it, and I'm so glad that we've put the daily spankings in place. I have felt much better during the afternoon/night while he's gone, and I can even see a difference in J already. He seems so much more confident in his role. I love it.