Wow! It's almost been two weeks since I've posted .. sorry guys! I'm not sure why I haven't felt compelled to write lately. It's not that there hasn't been anything going on around here, because there certainly has. I guess I've just been busy and wrapped up in my day to day life. I started a part time job last week, and am totally loving it! It's just enough time out of the house where I'm not going stir crazy doing the same damn thing day in and day out, but not too much where I'm missing my baby boy too much either. Plus, my hours are during the day when J is home, so he and the baby have been able to have some alone time together, which has been great for the both of them! :)
It has been awhile since J has threatened (promised?) a spanking and hasn't delivered, and I guess it was bound to happen again eventually. He fell asleep before he could spank me. Yes, I was upset. I wasn't so much upset that the spanking didn't happen, but that he said he was going to do something, and didnt. I knew that he didn't do it on purpose, and I wasn't angry, BUT different choices could have been made, and the whole thing could have been avoided. So Monday morning I expressed to him that I was a little upset that the previous nights' plans had fallen through, and he admitted that it wasn't fair that he didn't spank me. I was grateful that he could see my point of view and I was proud that I didn't get angry or act out because of my hurt feelings.
Later that night, after he had returned from work, changed and showered, he ordered me over the arm of the loveseat in our room. He sat behind me on the bed, and used the strap on me. It must have been the fact that he was strapping me from a different angle, or SOMETHING, because holy EFF I couldn't stay still or take it graciously for the life of me. OUCH! I wriggled and squirmed and cried out. J was patient with me, reminding me to keep my hands out of the way, sometimes gently moving them so he could continue.
It got very intense near the end and after throwing my hands back a few times only to have them swept away instantly, I jumped off the end of the loveseat and sorta curled up.
"Baby, get back up. You've got 15 more on each cheek." J told me firmly.
I couldn't. There was just no way that I could get back up. I looked at him pleadingly, my eyes begging for mercy. It just hurt so bad.
"Come on," he urged, his hand on my back.
I grabbed onto his leg, laying my head in his lap. "Please, can I go over your lap?" I whimpered.
He must have recognized my distress, as he helped me up over his lap. His free hand circled my waist, resting on my hip, warm and comforting. He delivered the rest of my strapping, which I was able to take MUCH better in my new position, then I was directed to put it away and bring him the lotion.
I handed it to him and lay back over his lap, loving the feel of his rough hands gently rubbing lotion into my burning bottom. Ahh, such bliss :)
I work until right before J has to be at work, so I meet him at his job and he passes the baby off to me. Today, after he put the car seat in the back seat, he came around to the driver's side and opened the door. I melted into his arms, grateful to be this near to him for just a moment. I knew he had to get inside but I just wanted to steal every last available second I could with him. I am enjoying my work and getting fulfillment from it, but it doesn't make me miss him less when I'm gone and it's been tough getting used to not having time together between our respective shifts.
"It's almost friday," he whispered to me. I burrowed my face further into his chest. "Tonight I'm going to spank you. And I'm gonna tie your legs up with rope."
My head snapped up and I looked at him in a mixture of disbelief, embarassment, and total arousal. My heart started pounding.
He smiled at my expression, and I wondered if I was visibly blushing. "Or maybe straps...my belt? We'll see..." he kissed me, and headed inside.
This has consumed my thoughts all day. I wonder if he's thought about it as much as I have. I am so curious to see what he has in store for me!
Well, he's in the shower and should be returning back to our room soon. I shall update you all again very soon :)
Showing posts with label strapping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strapping. Show all posts
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Just What I Needed
Yesterday was a stressful day and I was texting with J while he was at work, and told him the baby was being really fussy. Being the awesome hubby that he is, when he got home from work he showered, then offered to take the baby for a ride so I could shower and have a little time to myself. I was in a horrible mood, and my attitude was sour for sure. Even after I'd showered, I was still feeling cranky. J called me and asked if we had rice. I looked in the cabinet, we didnt have any. He told me he'd gotten a surprise, and I kinda blew it off. It wasn't that I didn't care that he'd gotten something special, I just had a lot of other things on my mind.
When he got back with the baby, he announced that he'd bought SWORDFISH for dinner! MY FAVOITE!! He'd also gotten garlic herb rice pilaf and asparagus. I was in heaven! He really, really is so good to me. He said that since it was obviously hard to go out to eat, he wanted to bring a really nice meal to me, because I deserve it. I could have cried when he said that!
Even with all of his nice gestures, and the amazing dinner, I still felt myself falling into a "funk." I dont know what my problem was but I just felt cranky. Just before we were getting to bed, I leaned against J and sorta whined into his chest, "I feel grumpy.."
"What?" he asked. "Even though I got swordfish and made a special dinner for you?"
Put that way, I sounded like a horrible jerk. I quickly tried to explain. "Thank you, for dinner, baby, it really was awesome!" I didn't want him to think I didn't appreciate what he'd done for me, because I really, really did! I just was feeling off, and I felt like I needed to tell him I was feeling that way.
He shook his head. "No, get on the bed, butt in the air." he ordered.
"But baby, I just wanna say thank you for dinner," I whined, puckering my lips.
He walked past me, pointing at the bed. "Butt in the air," he said as he rounded the bed, and grabbed the strap.
I was filled with a variety of emotions at this point. I was mostly surprised, because he doesn't usually specify a position for me to be in when he spanks me. I felt little, not in a bad way, but I was intensely aware of how much bigger and stronger J is than me. It gave me sort of a thrill, to be honest! There was a little bit of fear, because I hate the strap ... but also because I could feel that I wasn't in control. I made a feeble attempt at maintaining a little control, and lay down on the bed. I moved to put the pillow below my waist but he stopped me.
"No. Butt.In.The.Air."
I looked back at him, and he was serious. My tummy fluttered, and I reluctantly raised my backside, my back sloped. The seconds that lingered between the moment I presented J with his target and the strap falling felt like hours. I felt so exposed, even fully clothed. It seemed to me that if he looked at me at just the right angle, he would see everything inside of me. The strap finally did fall and it did hurt. I didn't hold position very well, but each time I moved from where I was supposed to be, J insisted I move back.
He was firm. His presence was commanding, and I felt relieved. Safe. He was gentle and tender afterward. He climbed into bed with me and held me, kissed me. Things moved to a more passionae avenue.
I was on cloud nine. I had really missed J throughout the week and it felt good to reconnect in the ways that we both respond best to. A good spanking, for me. (Great, actually...) And sex, of course, for both of us. And J's favorite thing, but we wont go there ... ;)
When he got back with the baby, he announced that he'd bought SWORDFISH for dinner! MY FAVOITE!! He'd also gotten garlic herb rice pilaf and asparagus. I was in heaven! He really, really is so good to me. He said that since it was obviously hard to go out to eat, he wanted to bring a really nice meal to me, because I deserve it. I could have cried when he said that!
Even with all of his nice gestures, and the amazing dinner, I still felt myself falling into a "funk." I dont know what my problem was but I just felt cranky. Just before we were getting to bed, I leaned against J and sorta whined into his chest, "I feel grumpy.."
"What?" he asked. "Even though I got swordfish and made a special dinner for you?"
Put that way, I sounded like a horrible jerk. I quickly tried to explain. "Thank you, for dinner, baby, it really was awesome!" I didn't want him to think I didn't appreciate what he'd done for me, because I really, really did! I just was feeling off, and I felt like I needed to tell him I was feeling that way.
He shook his head. "No, get on the bed, butt in the air." he ordered.
"But baby, I just wanna say thank you for dinner," I whined, puckering my lips.
He walked past me, pointing at the bed. "Butt in the air," he said as he rounded the bed, and grabbed the strap.
I was filled with a variety of emotions at this point. I was mostly surprised, because he doesn't usually specify a position for me to be in when he spanks me. I felt little, not in a bad way, but I was intensely aware of how much bigger and stronger J is than me. It gave me sort of a thrill, to be honest! There was a little bit of fear, because I hate the strap ... but also because I could feel that I wasn't in control. I made a feeble attempt at maintaining a little control, and lay down on the bed. I moved to put the pillow below my waist but he stopped me.
"No. Butt.In.The.Air."
I looked back at him, and he was serious. My tummy fluttered, and I reluctantly raised my backside, my back sloped. The seconds that lingered between the moment I presented J with his target and the strap falling felt like hours. I felt so exposed, even fully clothed. It seemed to me that if he looked at me at just the right angle, he would see everything inside of me. The strap finally did fall and it did hurt. I didn't hold position very well, but each time I moved from where I was supposed to be, J insisted I move back.
He was firm. His presence was commanding, and I felt relieved. Safe. He was gentle and tender afterward. He climbed into bed with me and held me, kissed me. Things moved to a more passionae avenue.
I was on cloud nine. I had really missed J throughout the week and it felt good to reconnect in the ways that we both respond best to. A good spanking, for me. (Great, actually...) And sex, of course, for both of us. And J's favorite thing, but we wont go there ... ;)
Thursday, January 6, 2011
struggling.
I feel terrible being the person that says, "I wish my husband would do this, or I wish he would give me more of that." I know that I am incredibly lucky that my husband has taken this journey with me in the first place, especially given his original reluctance. I should be appreciative and accepting of all my husband is willing to do. (And believe me, I AM.) That being said, sometimes, I just feel like it's not enough. I feel selfish saying so because he works so hard and does everything he can to make me happy and yet sometimes, I look for more. Why is that?
I dont like asking to be spanked. I dont know why, but it takes away some of the importance of the spanking. I'm not able to completely surrender when I'm asking for it, for some reason. Which then makes me confused because if I ask for it, why should I be resisting the same thing I just clearly stated I wanted. I just wish that he could "sense" when I need to be spanked. I know that there are warning signs, little changes in my behavior, that to me, are LOUDLY announcing, "I NEED A SPANKING!" However, I feel that he perceives these things as me being upset, or mad about something, which sometimes is the case, but usually the underlying issue is that I need to be spanked and cant voice it, which translates into frustration.
It has been particularly hard for me lately. My body has been going through a lot of changes (obviously, growing a kid inside you does that!) and as excited as I am for this baby, and as much as I love him already, they have been difficult for me to accept. I have already gained 23 or so lbs, and am only 22 weeks. My doctor suggested originally that I gain 25-30 lbs total, and I know there's no way in HELL I am going to be able to keep to that weight goal with 18 more weeks to go. Disappointing. I have been feeling less attractive, even though J tells me all the time how beautiful I am and that he loves my belly and that he finds it sexy. I just don't see myself as beautiful right now. I look in the mirror and think: FAT COW. How selfish of me. I know that it is necessary for me to gain weight in order for the baby to grow properly and remain healthy but I am concerned about losing the weight once he is born. On top of this, my fingers are sausages and I have had to remove all of my rings. I was upset enough about taking my wedding rings off, but I also had to remove the ring from my mom. When she was growing up, my grandmother gave each of her chidlren a ring on their 16th birthday, and my mom wanted to carry this tradition on with her own children. I received mine on my 16th birthday, and my mother passed away only 2 months after this. (She also purchased rings for my sisters and brother for my dad to give them when they turned 16 when she was given the news that she wouldnt be around to do so herself.) I havent taken the ring off since the day it was given to me, so doing so was very emotional and a struggle for me. I feel like a piece of me is missing without it on, and everytime I look down at my hand, it makes me a little sad not seeing it there.
Finally last night I decided I couldn't wait any longer for him to decide to spank me on his own, and I texted him, telling him I really needed a spanking. He promised me that he would give me one and that it would be a good one. He sure delivered. After he got home and showered, we went to the bedroom and he got the black strap from the drawer. He spanked me slowly and pretty gently at first and built up the intensity. By the end, he was spanking me pretty hard and I was bouncing all around trying to avoid the burning leather. For some reason, though, it never has the same effect when I have to ask for it. Afterwards, I dont feel the same sense of relief that I do when he just does it. I am grateful that he tries his best, and I love him tremendously for that. I guess that is all I can really ask for.
I dont like asking to be spanked. I dont know why, but it takes away some of the importance of the spanking. I'm not able to completely surrender when I'm asking for it, for some reason. Which then makes me confused because if I ask for it, why should I be resisting the same thing I just clearly stated I wanted. I just wish that he could "sense" when I need to be spanked. I know that there are warning signs, little changes in my behavior, that to me, are LOUDLY announcing, "I NEED A SPANKING!" However, I feel that he perceives these things as me being upset, or mad about something, which sometimes is the case, but usually the underlying issue is that I need to be spanked and cant voice it, which translates into frustration.
It has been particularly hard for me lately. My body has been going through a lot of changes (obviously, growing a kid inside you does that!) and as excited as I am for this baby, and as much as I love him already, they have been difficult for me to accept. I have already gained 23 or so lbs, and am only 22 weeks. My doctor suggested originally that I gain 25-30 lbs total, and I know there's no way in HELL I am going to be able to keep to that weight goal with 18 more weeks to go. Disappointing. I have been feeling less attractive, even though J tells me all the time how beautiful I am and that he loves my belly and that he finds it sexy. I just don't see myself as beautiful right now. I look in the mirror and think: FAT COW. How selfish of me. I know that it is necessary for me to gain weight in order for the baby to grow properly and remain healthy but I am concerned about losing the weight once he is born. On top of this, my fingers are sausages and I have had to remove all of my rings. I was upset enough about taking my wedding rings off, but I also had to remove the ring from my mom. When she was growing up, my grandmother gave each of her chidlren a ring on their 16th birthday, and my mom wanted to carry this tradition on with her own children. I received mine on my 16th birthday, and my mother passed away only 2 months after this. (She also purchased rings for my sisters and brother for my dad to give them when they turned 16 when she was given the news that she wouldnt be around to do so herself.) I havent taken the ring off since the day it was given to me, so doing so was very emotional and a struggle for me. I feel like a piece of me is missing without it on, and everytime I look down at my hand, it makes me a little sad not seeing it there.
Finally last night I decided I couldn't wait any longer for him to decide to spank me on his own, and I texted him, telling him I really needed a spanking. He promised me that he would give me one and that it would be a good one. He sure delivered. After he got home and showered, we went to the bedroom and he got the black strap from the drawer. He spanked me slowly and pretty gently at first and built up the intensity. By the end, he was spanking me pretty hard and I was bouncing all around trying to avoid the burning leather. For some reason, though, it never has the same effect when I have to ask for it. Afterwards, I dont feel the same sense of relief that I do when he just does it. I am grateful that he tries his best, and I love him tremendously for that. I guess that is all I can really ask for.
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