stress relief ... for my other half.

      Yesterday, hubby was having a very hard time with the day to day stresses of life. Things have been piling up for him lately and I just felt awful. He's unhappy at his job but since we are expecting a child and we made the decision for me to leave my job a few weeks ago, leaving his job at this time is not an option. On top of that, there's been drama between his brother and him, and another famliy issue arose last night. I went out and bought a wooden hairbrush, a little larger than the one we already have. I left it in the top drawer in the bathroom with a note saying "Darling, I know how much you LOVE the hairbrush, so I thought I'd get you one to cover more area :) I've been naughty, and I know you could use some stress relief." then I jotted a note to look in the top drawer on a sticky note and stuck it on the inside of the cabinet where our toothpaste is kept.
       I waited patiently for hubby to get home from work (he works the night shift). When he came in, I kissed him, and hugged him tight.
       He gathered his clothes per usual and headed for the shower. When he finally came back, he was holding the hairbrush and note in his hand, a small smile on his face. "You're cute, you know." he said quietly. He came and sat on the bed beside me and I piled the pillows in the middle of the bed and bent over them. He paddled me with that hairbrush pretty hard but gave me plenty of breaks and as the spanks rained down, the tension washed away.
        I was relieved to see that one of the things that helps me deal with stress was also beginning to help him too. I had previously thought this was something he did only for me, but I'm seeing now that he's benefiting as well.

losing ground

I have no idea what happened last night. We were laying in bed together, and I reached over and pinched J's arm, in hopes to provoke a little spanking. He yanked the covers off me and gave me a solid smack. I turned my face up to him, smiling a little.
    "Do you want another one?" he asked.
    I nodded.
     "Just one?" he pushed.
     I shook my head. "No sir."
     He started swatting my backside, making it sting nicely. After a moment he asked, "Go get the black strap,"
    "Nooo," I whined. "It hurts too much.."
    "It's too much work to use my hand the whole time. It hurts my arm," he explained. "Can I use something?"
    "Yeah, just not the strap,"
    "Fine, I won't use the black one." he agreed, getting up off the bed.
     "NO! Not the other one, either." I pouted, "they hurt too much now." I have been super sensitive lately, and the leather is just too much. This was supposed to be a fun spanking, not a punishment.
      Still, he brought the doubled pink strap. He sat beside me and told me I was getting 80 on each cheek.
      I moaned, burying my face in the pillow in front of me. After about 30 on one cheek I was wiggling around, it stung so much! I couldn't keep myself still, it reall hurt. I put my feet up to block my butt.
     "Move your feet," he said, but I didn't. He sighed, and laid back down on the bed. He didn't say a word, and as I lay over the pillows waiting for him to say or do something, the silence enveloped me and I felt like I was being sucked into a black hole.
      Tears started streaming down my cheeks because I had no idea what I had done to make him so upset with me, and I felt like spanking me was becoming a burden to him. Just as I was about to put my pillows back in place and just lay down for bed, he sat back up and started strapping me again.
       He said nothing until he'd completed the 80 on both cheeks (through which I'd done my very best to stay still and keep my feet down despite the nearly unbearable burn). When he'd finished, he laid back and said, "There's your 80." there was nothing else after it, no hugs, no rubbing, no words.
       I felt crushed. I didn't know what was happening, but this didn't feel right. This didn't feel like our usual spankings, even play ones, when he would pull me to him and kiss me and tell me he loved me. I just moved my pillows back in place and curled up against them, facing away from him. I let my tears fall silently down my cheeks, hoping that he wouldn't notice I was crying.

This morning things felt alright between us, and he kissed me and told me he loved me before he left to finish a painting job he'd begun with his brother yesterday. However, I am still so confused and slightly hurt over what happened. I don't know how to bring it up to him, or even to explain why I felt/feel hurt.