Friday, June 25, 2010

battle of wills (inside myself?)

   I have not quite been able to fathom my feelings and actions lately. I brat and brat until J says I'm going to be spanked, but as soon as he does, I back pedal and plead to be let out of it. I pout and whine to no end. To top it all off, when he gives in to me and lets me "off the hook" (which he often does,) I become angry and frustrated! I don't understand what is wrong with me, and I can't figure out how to explain to J that deep down I really do want him to spank me, even when I'm begging him not to.
Posted by at

2 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 25, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    I am sorry that I do not know the answer to this but I just wanted to say that I have been there in a previous relationship and know just what you are saying and how frustrating it is.
    For me (and maybe for you) a key part of this was my being able to fight it. I needed him to override my "no."
    I could offer trite advice like "tell him how you feel" but I have bet you have done that lots. Sorry I cannot be useful, just saying that I know how it feels. Hang on in there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SBGx0June 30, 2010 at 7:22 AM

    thank you poppy, that sounds quite a bit like what the problem is. thankfully, i have spoken to him about it again and we are working past it :)

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)