New Beginnings

I always knew that I was interested in spanking. By age 14, I was reading stories about spanking discipline online when my parents went out and I was left to babysit. I would read countless stories, distinterested by the sexual stories and drawn to those with a clear discipline focus. I didn't date much in highschool. Even after highschool, I only dated a few guys and I never even thought about telling any of them about my spanking fetish. This was something that was very very personal and intimate with me and I didn't feel I shared a connection worthy of sharing that part of myself with any of those guys. When I met Jack, it was immediately obvious that he is naturally dominant, and I was extremely attracted to him. It took me a long time to open up to him about my interest in spanking, but I am genuinely glad that I did.
When we first began incorporating spanking, it was playful and often erotic. He spanked very lightly to begin with, experimenting each time he spanked me, discovering that he wasn't going to actually hurt me.
Jack proposed on Christmas eve, and shortly after, I became aware that I needed and desired more from the spanking dynamic of our relationship. More importantly, I realized that I needed to share my desires with Jack, and that although it may be embarassing, he deserved to know about something that meant this much to me. I came across a book online called "How to Give a Spanking" (there is another that goes with it called "How to Get the Spanking You Want,) and I bought/downloaded it and printed it out for my fiance. I read through it and highlighted and underlined specific things that applied to myself and my desires. The most important part (from my point of view) was that it included the observation that if it was embarassing and difficult for the wife to ask to be spanked, then she probably is looking for the sort of spanking that will leave her marked and teary-eyed. This part of the book does not come until about half-way through, and let me tell you, it was torture waiting for Jack to get to that part. Since he works such odd hours, he spends much of his free time with me, not leaving a lot of time for reading. He had discovered some important tid bits of information such me wanted to be disciplined for real actions, and he commented, "I have no problem bending you over and spanking you when you're bad. But you don't do anything wrong."
After a month or so of his reading, and still not getting to the key point, I became frustrated and anxious. I wrote him a note, explaining that I wanted to cry from a spanking. I was terrified to tell him this, afraid he would refuse or think differently of me. He told me that he would do his best, that he wanted to make me happy and give me what I wanted, but that it would be extremely difficult because all he wanted was for me to be safe and happy and he did not want to be the one causing tears or pain. I understood this, and it became a lot more clear to me at this point just how much I was asking of Jack. I was overcome with appreciation for Jack and all he has done for me, very aware that many women aren't as lucky as I.
My spankings were much harder after that, and it was as if Jack was playing with my limits, exploring my boundaries and seeing just how far he could go before I would cry. We continued to play with spanking, buying new implements and testing them out, taking it day by day. Over the past weekend, I was starting to feel like I needed a spanking. I was short-tempered and cranky for no reason, and I felt as if I could crawl out of my skin. I wanted to behave but I just couldn't, taking every opportunity to poke or pinch or just plain bother Jack. He had asked me to do something and I scoffed. He told me that my behavior was going to earn me 65 swats with the black strap if I didn't change my attitude. I asked if I would have to count them or if he would, because it might be worth bratting some more if I didn't have to count. He told me that I was going to have to count, and that I could certainly look forward to a spanking that night. Later he actually gave me and made me count the 65 (which I did not expect in the least) and continued spanking me with a different strap when he'd finished those. He spanked me harder than he usually does, and after finishing up with the strap, he hand spanked me on my thighs until my eyes had welled with tears. I was breathing hard and had tears rolling silently down my cheeks when the spanking had finished.
I was ... relieved .. for lack of a better word. It felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders, and I was finally balanced and safe. I nuzzled into Jack's arms and cherished the feeling of his arms around me.
"How does your butt feel?" he'd asked.
"It's sore," I complained. "You made me cry!" I pointed out, unable to communicate this to him any other way.
"I'm sorry," he murmured softly. "But not really,"
I lifted my head and looked into his eyes. "No sorries." I insisted. "Thank you," I couldn't explain to him how much it meant to me that he was so accepting and accommodating to my needs. I felt another wave of emotions and I smiled. "I love you,"


That was my first spanking to tears and it was all I could have wished for. Looking back at the past year and a half, and how much our relationship has evolved, I know that our future is bright. It is a wonderful way to begin our new lives together, and I believe it will only make our bonds stronger.