A Weird Feeling

   So I got my good girl spanking last night. It was nice. He started out with the doubled pink strap, lightly, and it felt VERY good. There were some harder strokes but it felt good. He alternated between this strap and and his hand. Once my butt was warm and tingly, he had me stand up in front of him, and he strapped me. It wasn't very hard, but it did hurt a little. The mild pain quickly melted into pleasure, warming and caressing my skin. Then he had me get back on the couch, and after a little more spanking with his hand, he told me he was going to finish off the spanking with a number of things. I asked what this meant and he said he was going to get some implements, and I'd be getting sets of them. This made me a little uneasy for some reason, but I just nodded my agreement. I could hear him shuffling around in the drawer, and when he came back, I pushed my bottom out for him. As soon as I felt the first implement kiss my skin I jumped, saying "OUCH! What is that?!" and looking over my shoulder. The loopy.
   The tone of my spanking immediately changed. It felt all of a sudden like a bad girl spanking, and it broke my mindset. I lost the good feelings I had from the beginning of the spanking.
   He was using it lightly but it still stung. He only used it for a minute or two, then put it away, and started using the bigger hairbrush. He gave me slow, light, deliberate strokes and these felt good. I was a little surprised that it could feel good because usually the hairbrush hurts but it was totally different when being used nicely. I started to get back in the groove of the spanking, but I couldn't totally let go and enjoy myself fully. He then used the paddle, which also felt surprisingly good. I think there was another implement used as well, but I cant really remember.
   I laid beside him in bed for a bit, and we talked a little. He asked me if it was a good good girl spanking, and I confessed that it felt a little like a bad girl spanking. I told him that the loopy kind of changed the tone for me, and it was hard to get past that, but otherwise it was a very good spanking. 
   I still was extremely turned on from the spanking, as most good girl spankings leave me feeling, and I showed my appreciation.

   Long after the lovin was finished, I lay in bed thinking. It had seemed to me that J was sort of wanting to spank me harder than a good girl spanking warranted. I felt confused because I wanted a bit harder of a spanking as well, but was left feeling a little miffed that the spanking wasn't quite the good girl spanking I'd expected. Confused, I thought about it for a long time, and the conclusion I came to was this. Because I'd been promised a good girl spanking for doing all that I was supposed to, that's what I'd prepared myself for. So when it was a little harder than a good girl spanking usually is, I got thrown off track. Now, had J said something like "I want to spank you and it's going to be hard, but it's not because you were bad, I just want to..." that would have been a different story. I believe I still would have been extremely turned on, because I mean .. that's hot. I love when he flexes his dominance. MMM. SO long story short, I think I just put myself into a mindset before it happened and it wasn't a flexible enough mindset to accept the harder swats / the loopy johnny being introduced. Is that weird?

The Awesome-ness Continues!

   So about a month ago, I get a letter from my OB's office saying that she left the practice and that the other doctor practicing there would be happy to take me on as her patient. Let me explain. I saw my normal doctor ONE time during this whole pregnancy, my very first prenatal visit at 12 weeks. She told me she would be on vacation the next month so I could schedule an appointment with the other doctor and then resume seeing her when she returned. That was in October. I haven't seen her since. I've been seeing the other doctor, whom I despise. She made me feel totally uncomfortable, and was extemely impersonal. So, I decided to find a different doctor instead of opting to see the other doctor in the practice. I found a new one, actually closer to my home. I saw her for the first time today, and I AM IN LOVE! She's really great. She's funny, she took the time to listen to me and ask me questions, and answer the questions that I had. She spoke to my husband, and included him, which was something the other doctor never did. J and I both feel so much more at ease with the new doctor. YAY!
   After my appointment, J took me to lunch. While we talked, he informed me that if I could get the majority of the nursery organized and put away (its taking me quite some time ... this kid has more clothes than his daddy and I put together!) then I'd be getting a good girl spanking tonight! ANOTHER ONE! Woo Hoo! I dont know what's gotten into this man, but if he wants to start giving me frequent good girl spankings, who am I to complain? I think he's starting to like this whole spanking thing a little more than he lets on! :) :) :)

That's fine with me!

Screwed Up

   First of all, my good girl spanking was wonderful. J told me I could pick whatever implement I wanted, so of course I pointed to his hand. He grinned, and told me to pick something else besides his hand, too. So I opened the drawer and took out the loopy he'd made me for valentines day (I dont think I wrote about this one). It's made of rope but the rope is very loose and soft, and it feels pretty good when he uses it. He's threatened to get rid of it, because he feels like it "doesn't do anything," but I keep pleading him not to because it actually feels nice. Anyway, he started with his hand and warmed me up, giving me light swats and then moved on to the rope loopy. He went back and forth between the two for a good while, stopping to rub and caress me.  It was so nice. Then he used the black strap which I usually hate, but he was gentle with it and the sting was delicious. I was so relaxed during the spanking and just kept my eyes closed, floating on the good feelings. Afterward, I showed him my appreciation ;)
   Here's where I screwed up. Yesterday afternoon, J had reminded me (yet again) to drop off my hospital forms in the mail. He'd been telling me for about a week to get them filled out and mailed so they'd have them in plenty of time. I had every intention of doing so, but when I went out, I forgot to bring them with me. I didn't even realize that I hadn't brought them with me until a few hours after I got home, and by then it was about 8-9 oclock. I knew I'd screwed up, especially because J had texted me from work to remind me to mail them, after reminding me during the day. ugh. I thought about telling him, but I knew if I did, my good girl spanking would be ruined and I'd end up getting punished instead of us being able to enjoy ourselves. So I kept it to myself and prayed he wouldnt ask me if I'd mailed them.  He didn't ask, so I didn't say anything, and we had an amazing night together.
   So, while I was laying in his lap this afternoon, (my favorite place to be) I casually said, "Oh, I've got to mail those forms out today."
    I could feel him tense beneath me. "What?" he asked. "You were supposed to mail those yesterday," he said.
    "I know, but I completely forgot. I was going to tell you, but I didn't want to ruin my good girl spanking..." I admitted. See? I'm not that bad, at least I admitted it, right?
    He chuckled. "You would've ruined it. You wouldn't have gotten a good girl spanking. But now you're getting a bad girl spanking tonight because you lied to me."
   "I didn't lie!" I protested. "You didn't ask,"
   "No, but you chose not to tell me on purpose. That's lying."

   Crap. So tonight, I have to choose a card when he gets home, which is going to be any minute so I probably should go. I'll tell you what, though...it'll be worth the punishment I get tonight, to have saved the good girl spanking I got last night!

Good Girl =]

   I have been feeling a little unraveled. I thought about asking for a spanking. I'd been toying with the idea all night, and to take my mind off things, I decided to do some cleaning/organizing in our bedroom. I cleared off the love seat again, since J and I decided it makes more sense to use that now for spankings (he's going to have me kneel on it) instead of lying over the pillow, since that has been getting uncomfortable. I did a bunch of laundry, which is another issue in our house because we simply don't have enough space to store all of our clothes. It's become a stressor for me because it clutters up the room, and it gets to the poitn where it's overwhelming because I want to do it, and keep it clean, but since we have no where to put it I feel there's no point. We have even gone through our clothes multiple times and donated a few bags of clothes we don't use much, and there is still no room! It's difficult to tackle, to say the least. I have convinced J to buy a cubeical organizer from Target for the room to store clothes in (We'll be getting it this weekend, I think) and I'm hoping that it will be enough to get all our clothess into a space, and off the floor. It took me about an hour and a half to get through everything, and about three hours to wash all the clothes but the room looks much better already! I had decided I was going to ask for a spanking when J got home, but when he did, I could see he was so tired (he hasn't slept well all week), that I didn't want to give him one more thing to do. He did seem pleased that I'd tackled the room clutter on top of doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen.
   This afternoon we were sitting together in the living room and I got up to get a drink. After I'd set my glass down on the table, he grabbed my wrist and gave me a swat, then pulled me over to him. I plopped down on the couch next to him, and leaned over for a kiss.
   "Do you know what you're getting tonight?" he asked.
   I felt a smile split my face. "What?" I replied.
   "A good girl spanking," he answered.
   Mmm. "I am?" I raised my eyebrows, blushing.
   He nodded. "Do you know why?" he wanted to know. When I shook my head, he continued. "You did a good job last night cleaning up in the room. If you feel inspired, you can vacuum."
   I was more than ecstatic, and agreed to vacuum the room, obviously. Now I won't even have to ask for a spanking, our room is going to look GREAT, and I'm getting a good girl spanking, which means hopefully there will be some lovin tonight too! :) I am a happy, happy girl.

Not to mention that we have practically finished the nursery, the crib mattress came in today, which means I can finally start getting things organized in the baby's room and ready for him!

Different Strokes for Different Folks

I have been thinking lately about all the different kinds of spankings that we have in our relationship. They each serve their own purpose, but all lend themselves to the common goal. For me, that's feeling safe, loved and secure in our relationship. For him, thats feeling accomplished in making me happy and meeting my needs, and feeling loved and respected. At least that's what I hope he feels.

There are good girl spankings, when I've done something good that wasn't necessarily expected of me, or when I go above and beyond what I was supposed to, or just when overall I've been good. I love love LOVE good girl spankings. They start out slow and soft, gradually building intensity and pace. There's lots of rubbing, and special touches. Generally, I can take much more during a good girl spanking than I can during a punishment. Afterward I feel warm and connected to my hubby, and always in a touchy feely mood. There is almost always love making after this kind of spanking.

Then there are bad girl or punishment spankings. These, I don't like so much. In fact, the only thing I do like about them is that they clear the air, and assauge my guilt for whatever particular thing I am being punished for. I tend to put up walls during a punishment spanking, and I fight the pain. In order for that wall to be broken down and my feelings met head on, I need to be reached on an emotional/psychological level. I need to be spoken to, to hear why I'm being punished, and to be told that I am expected to do what I am told. It is harder for me to keep position. I wiggle more, my hands come back, my feet come up..I don't mean to, I think subconsciously it's my way of trying to maintain even the smallest shred of control. I need to feel more dominance from J in these situations, than in a good girl spanking because I almost need to be forced to let go of control.

There are maintenance spankings each Saturday (or Sunday depending on our schedules) night. These serve to keep me on track. I need to be spanked fairly regularly, and I get sad and floaty when I'm not. These help with that immensely. We also usually address smaller issues (like being sassy etc) during these spankings if need be. They help remind us both of our roles, and reconnect us after a long week.

We also have spankings that fit into neither of these categories. There's what I call the quickie spanking, a dozen or two or three swats before J goes to work. He often tells me they're so I'll remember. Sometimes it's so I'll remember to be good, or do something I'm asked. Sometimes it's to remember how much he loves me. These are my absolutely favorite spankings. They leave my bottom stinging but not sore, and I feel warm and glowy for quite some time after he leaves. I feel clear headed and balanced, and more motivated to do things throughout the day/night while he's gone. It helps me focus. Then we have spankings when I am stressed out, overwhelmed, or sad. These particular emotions tend to be heavier at times than I can handle, and the longer they go unchecked, the stronger of a hold they have on me. I get swept away and I need to be spanked to pull me back out of the swirling tornado. We don't have a name for these spankings, but both of us are getting better at identifying when they are needed. They tend to be more intense and often more severe than a punishment spanking, but they have a significantly different atmosphere to them. It is a safe place for me to face these emotions, to handle them without fearing that they will over power me, knowing that J is there and that we will deal with them together. I can allow myself to deal with it and move on, to let go.

After every spanking, whether it be a good girl, a punishment, or a stress relief, J always holds me and tells me he loves me. Often he'll rub lotion on if it was a particularly hard spanking, or if I ask him to. Even after a quickie spanking I'll get a kiss and the reaffirmation that I am loved.



I realize that just as every relationship is different, TTWD has a different meaning in each relationship. It is molded and reformed to fit the needs of the people involved. Some couples only have discipline spankings. Some only have fun ones, and others yet have more types than I have mentioned here. Thats what makes it special, I think. Each dynamic is different and works for all of us in different ways, but underneath, were all the same.