trouble brewing?

gaaahhh.

That pretty much sums up how I feel today. I really don't even know why, because it was a GREAT day! We had our big ultrasound today and they told us that our baby boy looks perfect and everything is growing just the way it should be. We got to take home some really cute picutres, and he even gave us thumbs up in one! Then, when we got home,  the CRIB ARRIVED! EEEEEK! I was so excited!!

But now, that J is at work I'm starting to feel down again. He asked me to remove the empty cups (and beer cans on his side of the bed), and I promised him I would. The only problem is, I am now overcome with an undeniable urge to "forget" to actually do so. I know he would notice, but I am not sure he would do anything about it? I know that I am craving the kind of spanking that cleanses your soul. The kind that makes you bare all (pun intended) and just let it all go. I believe that I'm so tempted to "forget" his task to get him to give me this spanking. Unfortunately, not sure he will. WHAT DO I DO? I want to please him, I love him dearly. Why do I doubt him so much?

I am not good at keeping still during a spanking, and last night was no exception. I was getting close to the point where the flood gates were going to open, but I was moving around too much and J stopped because he was concerned I was going to hurt the baby. I know he's got the best of intentions but it left me feeling empty and sad. Of course I don't want to do anything to hurt the baby either, he is the most important thing in the world to me, but I cant help my feelings I guess.